[FindaJob]

I have not even got my CPA and i’m already married ! so its not as if i’m gonna use any of the cheesie pickup lines … I just want to get a good laugh …

when my friend got his CPA he had a crush on some girl… i told him that he should tell her this:

Hey, I’m a CPA. How would you like to discuss your taxes on dinner in this new Italian place. Saturday night ?

That was my one and only line .. whats yours 😛 ?

two to go !

[Rafa18]

Guy : “Hey girl! What say we go back to your place and I Audit your Assets?

Girl : “But you barely even know me”

Guy: “Thats right Girl… Benefits while maintaining Independence ;)”

FAR - 2/19 - 92

Define what success looks like for you then go after it

[jeff]

“What do you say we spend the rest of our useful lives together?”

… Mrs. Elliott fell for that one.

AUD - 79
BEC - 80
FAR - 76
REG - 92

Jeff Elliott, CPA (KS)
NINJA CPA | NINJA CMA | NINJA CPE | Another71

[mypetmeatball]

Hi I'm an accountant, I'd like to have sex with you please

[jeff]

I believe that's called the “Direct Approach”

AUD - 79
BEC - 80
FAR - 76
REG - 92

Jeff Elliott, CPA (KS)
NINJA CPA | NINJA CMA | NINJA CPE | Another71

[henryv]

Don't know if the concepts were already used since I didn't bother to read further posts.

“I should recognize you as a capital lease because I will own you at the end of the day.”

“The moment I found you, my depreciation method changed from a double declining to a 150% declining balance”

Insults:

“Are you an inventory on consignment? because you're such a manwh*** or wh***.”

“You should be tested for impairment because it looks like you're going to be obsolete in a year or so.”

“You must be dilutive because you keep bringing down my EPS”

FAR - 92 02/2013
AUD - 90 05/2013
REG - 85 10/2013
BEC - 80 12/2013

I'M DONE. THANK YOU LORD!

[MCLKT]

@Henry those are good!

I think the second one should say your depreciation went from double declining to straight line.

LOL at the last insult.

A:[73]97 F:[74]85 R:86 B:[74]82
*NINJA 10 Pt. COMBO & Yaeger*

[Anonymous]

This thread is hysterical.

Boy: Are you my revenue?

Girl: Why?

Boy: Because I'm so loss without you!

Please baby, let me withhold you.

Girl you meet all my criteria, so you better believe I am going to capitalize.

I don't care if you're rich or poor because I will make your cash flow.

If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I near ENron so we could take it down together.

I have incredibly liquid assets right now, and they're dying to get a good return.

And I'll leave you all with this little gem – In my office, IRS stands for “I'm really sexy”

ninja/cheeseball over and out!

[MintsRGood]

Accounting break up line: I'm sorry, but this partnership has become a toxic asset on my balance sheet. Additionally, all of our joint assets have been fully depreciated due to the 179 deprecation election I made on 12/31/12. I have disposed of all of our joint assets subsequently. While I realize that we will have to pick up the pro rata share of the bonus depreciation as ordinary income from our flow through entity due to the recapture rules, it is worth the tax hit on my individual income tax return to be rid of you forever.

Regards, MintsRGood

REG: 75 DONE 🙂
AUD: 61, 71, 68, 92 DONE 🙂
BEC: 76 DONE 🙂
FAR: 72, 74, 79 DONE 🙂
Licensed Michigan CPA 🙂
-Some people dream of success...others wake up and work hard for it!!!
-The cowards never start and the weak die along the way!
-You better work, b***h!
-Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.-JFK

[onemorescore]

A quick try at combination pick up line funny jokes?

After I'm done with your assets you'll have to test for impairment

Your hot assets are making me want to form a partnership

I'll have to credit you for my asset depletion

Are your assets temporarily or permanently restricted? BC I'd spare no expense to unrestrict them

Hope it gives you a brief laugh

Guy” normally I am strictly IFRS but for you I'd switch to GAAP because you are extraordinary”

Baby, your not just another journal entry, you balance my books.

Do you have any obligations for tonight? BC I'd love to take you home and we can retire those assets.

A:85
R:78
B:82
F:88

Good look everyone!
USE THE AUTHORITATIVE LITERATURE ON SIMS!!!

[Anonymous]

Come now, everyone knows Auditor's are the chick magnets —

Baby girl, I saw you talking to that guy over there. Don't. There's a going concern that he has significant control deficiencies.

What do you say we go back to my place for some agreed upon procedures?

Rest assured, I have a large enough staff for adequate coverage.

[mypetmeatball]

I really like the agreed upon procedures one, rofl

[monty]

jajaj some auditors brake up lines.

We could have gone FAR however, due to unexplained differences, this engagement has remained in a WIP stage and have clearly demonstrated its inability to deliver any finished goods.

At this point after your Bond revaluation I have determined that I am incurring in non-recoverable costs and will proceed to let you go at a discount.

Your Control weakness, Unsupported journals entries, Late adjustments and lack of Repairs & maintenance have violated the general provisions of our joint venture.

[Anonymous]

@henryv: LOL at the GAAP v. IFRS extraordinary one.

“Is _____ (name of whatever she's drinking) the material weakness in your internal control?”

“I've got an option I'd like to exercise on those plan assets.”

“My goodwill may be intangible, but my fixed assets are rock solid.”

“This inquiry has been nice, but I'd like to do a walk through of your operations.”

Insults:

“Your net return should include a discount for your face.”

“You've got great plan assets, but too many service costs.”

“I'm not ready for this projected benefit obligation.”

“You've impaired my goodwill.”

“This was just a sale-leaseback.”

“I can't prove feasibility in this relationship. I have to write you off.”

[Anonymous]

“I like to delay my score release so you can enjoy some tension.”

[monty]

@Arly and all good job, thanks for the laughter before my bed time since I quit waiting for my FAR score for today.

[Author]

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