mla1169 is right. Minimorty has every right to post here. However, if the right to say whatever he wants is extended to him, it should also extend to anyone who wants to express their dislike of any poster’s deficiencies in communication skills and social graces.
There’s this position that seems to be invading society that adults should “just suck it up, get a thick skin, and learn to treat other people with the same disregard you are treated with.” REAL adults (as opposed to 30 year old seventh-graders) hold their tongues when they’re irritated by someone. They aren’t self-indulgent schoolyard bullies who, for whatever reason, fill some hole in their lives by picking off the weaker kids–the awkward kids, the kid who’s anxious and scared and asks too many questions, the new kid who just moved here from China and doesn’t speak English absolutely perfectly yet–knowing they have a very few, powerful friends who will back them up if they’re called on it and the standard “Geez, why is everybody so touchy and defensive,… lighten up” deflection doesn’t work.
Real adults have the b… uh… guts to politely but firmly call a spade a spade and speak up when they see someone else habitually acting like a jerk. Not only so that person knows their behavior is undesirable, but more importantly so the person getting picked on knows that behavior isn’t the tenor of the entire community, and doesn’t leave and never come back. A real adult doesn’t respond to the person getting picked on with “oh you gonna cry?… are you a crybaby? … boo hoo… GROW UP!” (that comment isn’t prompted by previous posts in this discussion, this is just something I see in society in general.) A real adult tells the person acting out that they’re out of line. It takes more courage, but it’s the right thing to do.
What we have on this board is the same kind of struggle we have going on right now in our country. There are people who honestly want the country to be a place that the government provides everything for you. Other people want it to be a place where you’re almost completely left alone, free to legally smoke crack and pimp out your sister for cold hard cash or drugs (and of course there are lots of positions in between).
Likewise, Group A wants this board to be a place where they come and meet up with their friends that they went through this process with, a place where the only rule is non-disclosure, anything goes, and the anonymity of the interwebs lets them say whatever they want. It’s a place they can feel important and “smarter than”.
The much larger Group C wants this board to be a place where they can come to vent to people who will give them the benefit of the doubt that when they say “exams are stupid” they don’t ACTUALLY mean “exams are stupid and we should never have any exams EVER IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT!!!” [in my best eTrade baby impersonation]. Group B wants this board to be a supportive place of encouragement from THE ONLY people who can truly understand what you’re going through. Yes, this group wants wisdom, tips, helpful advice, and sometimes tough talk and the straightup truth, but they believe those things aren’t mutually exclusive to manners, basic tact, compassion, and self-control.
Of course, there’s a Group B who have passed and visit the board to “pay forward” the knowledge and help they received out of genuine gratefulness and goodwill toward mankind.
By their very nature, Group A is more vocal and hangs around after they’re done, and Group C is quieter and moves on with their lives, maybe occasionally checking back in. Until one group definitely wins, you’ll have to learn a very important skill. With some posters (and you’ll learn quickly which they are), if you can’t just skip their posts entirely, learn to briefly scan the post and figure out if there’s a good nugget of gold glinting out at you from amongst the self-indulgent rubbish.
Another trick I use, and I’m being dead serious here, this is not a jab at anyone, is to remember that almost everybody can ONLY be as good as their parents taught them to be. There are very few who rise above the level their parents set for them (and I’m not talking about going to college, making more money, or achieving more). I was very lucky that my parents valued basic politeness, good manners, compassion, self-control, and tact. Not everybody has good parents, or any parents at all. There are also real genetic medical conditions, such as Asperger’s, that make it literally impossible for someone to understand social cues and the nuances of mature, polite society. It’s worth remembering when you encounter people who exhibit extreme behavior. It makes it easier to extend compassion and the benefit of the doubt to the offender.
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