I'M BAAAACK!!! I never realized that my absence would cause this kind of reaction. I don't know whether to be embarrassed or proud.
For the record… Sandra and I are very good friends. She has never said that I shouldn't get my license. She has ALWAYS defended me. I left for a while because, as Sandra said, I have been going through some stuff and I'm finally ready to talk about it. She's one of 5 people that know what the last week has been like for me. That number includes my husband and family. That's how highly I think of her. She is a great person and I'm proud to call her my friend.
Jeff is also my friend. I have known him, virtually, for almost 4 years and I can say with the utmost confidence, that if he needed a kidney, I'd be there! He never “chose” Mini or anyone else over me. It was MY decision to stay away for a while. He has always been very supportive of me and helped me in any way he could. I'm grateful that God brought him into my life.
So here goes! Grab your popcorn and a drink.
Five years ago I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease. It is an autoimmune disease that causes the body to reject and basically kill off the thyroid. This is a hereditary condition. I’ve been taking medication ever since. What I didn’t know until last week is that the reason I have struggled with the CPA exam is because the thyroid also helps you comprehend and helps you deal with stress. I can read a question, know what all of the words mean but I don’t know what they are asking me to do. When the medication isn’t dosed correctly, I can figure it out eventually, but I can’t do it in the minute or so we get per question on the exam. It feels like trying to build a rocket in the dark while you are drunk. Looking at my scores it is easy to see when I was feeling good and my medication was dosed correctly. The medication is simply a replacement of something that your body naturally produces. It cannot be considered an “advantage”. My failing scores are not a true indication of what I know or how well I perform at work. They are simply an indication that there was a bigger problem.
A few weeks ago I got very upset over a thread about the state boards having the ability to extend a candidates credit under extenuating circumstances. The reason I got so upset is because I know someone personally who deserved, ask for and received an extension. At the time, I used the example of someone with three credits finding out that they had cancer. I was quickly shot down by Mini basically saying they needed to start from scratch when they got better. What I didn’t know at the time, and didn’t find out until last Tuesday, is that the reason I have been so short tempered lately is because I have a 1 cm mass in the left side of my thyroid. Your thyroid also controls a lot of stuff such as emotions and how your body processes hormones. I’m having a hard time eating right now because the mass is pressing against my esophagus making swallowing anything other than apple sauce nearly impossible. When I say I’m hungry, that is the understatement of the year. But I’m going to survive. I know I will. I have a positive attitude and that is half of the battle at this point.
The next step is to find an endocrinologist that will take me without health insurance. Two years ago, that would not have been a problem. After Obamacare, this is proving to be a difficult task. Once we find a doctor then I will either have a biopsy, or more likely, a complete thyroidectomy. Hopefully, we can find one soon. Until then, I am going to keep moving forward. This is just another bump in the road. I have pushed FAR back to November 5th. That will give the doctor time to get my medication where it needs to be so that I’m actually doing a journal entry and not trying to build a rocket in the dark.
At first I was trying to keep this quiet but I don't really see any point in that now. This is no different than my struggle with the exam. I've always been honest about that so I'm going to be honest about this. It is what it is. It may turn into the biggest fight of my life but there is no point in dwelling on it until that day gets here.
So there you go. The reason I left. But I'm back now and I'm hungry which means I'm probably going to take the lid off the box a little more often. This skinny cajun likes her food and I've had to walk away from boiled crab, seafood gumbo and what could only be described as the most beautiful pot of red beans and rice I've ever seen. Damn, I'm hungry!
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