[TM]

This week I found out I passed my last exam (FAR) and am able to rejoin my family as a fully participating member. It has been difficult the last 14 months as I juggled work, being a husband, being a father, and studying for the exams. I did my best, and thank goodness I was able to pass the exams in the time frame I did, but unfortunately I failed at one of my other duties… being a husband. Most weekdays consisted of me working, coming home for dinner, playing with the kids until about 830, and then retreating to my office to study. This means most weekdays my wife was watching TV or on the computer without anyone to keep her company or snuggle and talk about life with. I tried to make it up on the weekends but when you have a 1 year old and a 2 year old you spend most of your time chasing them around. Also, I had to at least study a little on the weekends if I wanted to pass my exams. Even when I was not studying I was always thinking about how much I needed to study, or how badly I just bombed my last exam, or if I should reschedule my next exam, and so on and so on. The CPA exam is not just a test, it becomes a way of life until you are finished. As the months went on it really started to wear on our marriage as the lonely nights piled up for my wife and the exam consumed me. My wife became resentful towards me for not spending any time with her and I became resentful towards the exam for being the cause. Finding out I passed my last exam earlier this week lifted the enormous weight placed on my marriage and family. It has been a difficult journey and I give my wife all the credit in the world for sticking by me and enduring all those lonely nights so I could accomplish this goal that will hopefully lead to a more prosperous career and better future for our family. Now that I am finished and can reflect, I wanted to offer some advice if you are in the same situation as me.

– Before you purchase your study materials and commit to the CPA, make sure you spouse understands the time and dedication it will take to accomplish your goal. Basically, make sure they know you will not be able to spend nearly as much time with them if you want to pass your exams, but do not completely ignore your spouse… see next bullet.

– Make time for date nights!!! Get a sitter for the kids and take your spouse out for a fun evening just the two of you. I would recommend a date night twice a month. I admittedly could have done a better job of this and know it would have gone a long way to keep our marriage in a healthier spot.

– Take time off after exams. After studying hard for so many weeks straight you will need, and have earned, a break. I always took about a week or so off after each exam, and actually after I sat for one in November of last year I took all of December off, which was nice. It also gives you a chance to spend time with your family and remind them of how life will be after you finish!

– Be realistic with your timetable for taking exams. When you are working full time and have a family it is important to be realistic about how much time you will have, and need, to prepare for each exam. I never gave myself less than 8 weeks to prepare for any exam and more like 12 weeks for FAR and REG. For re-takes it was more like 4 weeks.

– You know yourself best. When deciding how to attack studying for the exams you should always go with what you think will work best for you, and not what other people say worked for them. Even if you think doing something differently than your study materials suggest will be best for you, than do it. I used Becker and they wanted you to watch the videos and do the homework for each section before you moved on to the next section. I personally felt if I followed this plan I would forget a lot of the material in the earlier chapters so I did it differently. I watched ALL the videos first before doing any of the MC homework and then went back and did all the MC homework section by section and reviewed notes as needed.

Good luck to everyone taking the exam and especially those with families as it adds another layer of difficulty to the equation. Now that I am finished, I have many date nights to make up to my wonderful wife!

AUD- 82
BEC- 73, 82
REG- 80
FAR – 73, 78

[Anonymous]

Yes, it was awesome to have the support of my husband through the 1.5 years of studying and another 3 years of studying to get to the 150 hour requirement…I think it is important for everyone in the family to understand just how much of commitment it is for someone to study and get through these-I am sure it feels on the other end like the person studying is just trying to avoid their responsibilities..I felt terrible a few time yelling at everyone to be quiet and leave me alone, and hope they forgive me. Congrats and enjoy being a part of the family again!

[Anonymous]

Thanks for such an inspirational story! My experience with the CPA exam journey has been almost similar except I wasn't working, but my wife had been pregnant since I started studying earlier this year so there was a lot of time not spent with my wife and it was not being easy saying no to family, friends, especially my wife. Fortunately, I'm finally done with this exam too so a huge weight lifted off of my shoulder! Time to focus on my career, family (wife and baby girl), and many more things!

[El]

TM – I'm going through the exact same circumstance you went through (verbatim…kind of creepy). But I knew I wasn't the only one. I still have two exams to pass but I am going to be so excited for the extra time to spend with family or simply guilt-free relaxing.

[TM]

@Anyatver – Thanks, I am enjoying it very much already! It is definitely tough on everyone and I am sure your family forgives you after seeing how difficult it was and knowing that you did it for them as well.

[TM]

@B4BeanCounte – Happy to share my experience. I used these forums a lot when I needed some assurance while I was taking the exams. Congratulations on the baby girl and best of luck to you and your family!

[TM]

@El – You are halfway home, you got this! I hope you knock the next two out in your first attempts. Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Sorry but not really understanding why your wife would be resentful at all. Its not like you abandoned them to go study in a monastery. Maybe she didnt think you could do it?

[HDCPA]

I also had the same situation, although it seems my wife may have taken it a bit better. That’s no disrespect to yours, but it’s just as likely my wife hid it a bit better because she was definitely frustrated but understanding. I work full time, studied full time, and played dad to a newborn, 4 yr old, and 13 yr old, and husband as well. This last 12 months went by crazy fast, but for the family it probably felt like it drug on forever. What’s important is that you did your best, balanced it all, and passed. Your wife will understand and you’ll be back to normal quick if not already. For those about to go through it, definitely put all the cards on the table beforehand. If you don’t study like crazy you’ll end up prolonging the process and it will become more miserable.

[Recked]

Spoken like a guy who doesn't have a wife at home.
LOL
Happy wife – happy life. Remember those words.
The how/why or logic of the situation is of little consequence when you're dealing with the wife. Just sayin…

[Anonymous]

Ha Recked, ive been happily married for ten years, but yes only because i have the will and integrity to resolutely accept all her demands.

[Recked]

LOL
Remember kids, you never EVER win against the wife, you just try to lose as little as possible.
It's nice that we can all get a laugh out of this.

[TM]

Haha, some wisdom is being shared here.

@Calvinus I think it was a combination of a couple of things for why she started feeling.. lets say unhappy with the situation. Even though I tried to explain how time consuming it was going to be, I think it quickly exceeded her original expectations. Also, it just takes a long time (14 months for me) so I think she really just missed having someone to hang with. She is not from the city we currently live so all of her friends and family are about 4 hours away… wish they were closer! Maybe I should have gone to a monastery to study… probably could have knocked it out in 6 months! Anyhow, things are already back to normal and life goes on.

[GoldFish_CPA]

@TM – Thanks for sharing your story! I've always felt so alone in this process because between my colleagues and I, I am the only one balancing family life at home (husband + 4 school-aged kids). I always felt that I was sacrificing so much more and just had so much at stake. I can never shake that guilt in the back of my head when I tell my kids that “I can't because Mommy have homework.” or having my husband take on ALL household responsibilities to keep our family functioning. I often wish I pursued my CPA license earlier on in my career, however, I also love those little moments when I get to celebrate each passing score with my family and they get to be a part of their mom's success story.

Thanks again for the reminder that life goes on. Waiting on one more score release, however, also getting ready to do whatever it takes!
Congratulations on passing!

[Author]

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