[meghan]

Hi all!
I really hope this is allowed, if not please delete.
I am not an accountant, but my husband is! I have been a long time reader of the forums, because my husband is actively testing for his CPA exam (he’s been using Surgent exclusively).
He passed FAR in July 2018 (84) and passed AUD in December 2018 (80), both were his first attempts.
He took REG today and he just about had a mental breakdown on the way home from the testing center (the closest center is about 2 hours away from us… long car ride!). He is absolutely convinced that he failed. He felt doubt after his first 2 exams, but today was the worst reaction by far.
I should add that while he has put a lot of pressure on himself anyway, we recently found out we are expecting our first child and that has really added pressure on him to get these last 2 sections done ASAP.
I guess my questions is… what helps you guys deal during the wait? How can I make this easier for him? What has helped you if you happen to get a less than desirable score? Is there anything I CAN do?
I am already so proud of him, he has worked so hard. I know he appreciates hearing all of that from me, but I think he gets the thought of “you’re my wife, you’re supposed to say that”.
Thanks for any advice, and good luck to all of yall still testing!

[12tang]

Don't talk about the exam with him, UNLESS he brings it up. Don't ask about his scores or anything. Make life easy for him around the house. The more responsibilities he has outside the exam, the worse off he is. Meal prep for him and such. Don't bug him during his studying. I hope this helps. These are things that I would want my partner to do for me.

Using Becker self-study
FAR: (82) 175 hours - 1st attempt
BEC: (XX)
AUD: (69) 45hrs of study - 1st attempt
REG: (XX)

[Wyatt]

Hi Meghan,
That sounds really tough, and the waiting is always one of the toughest parts. I just got my last score last week, and that one was definitely the hardest one for me and my wife. We were really stressed because my study materials are expiring soon, and we were nervous about being able to pay for study materials and pay for a retake. The most comforting and reassuring thing that she would say to me is that she was there and would support me no matter the outcome, and if I pass, that's great, but if I fail we would figure it out and get through it together.
It might sound pretty cheesy, but that support was what got me through. Just being reminded that she would be there with me to figure it out if we got bad news was what I needed.
I hope this is helpful. Good luck with the wait, I know it's tough on you as a spouse too.

[TommyL]

Aye I feel like I'm in the same boat as your husband. Both 12Tang and Wyatt make some good points. First of all, don't mention the exam, don't ask when is his next exam date is, don't ask when are the scores coming out. My wife doesn't know but every time she mentions these things I get really stressed. Let your husband's friends and family know this as well!

If your husband brings up the topic of how the exam is going and how stressed he is, then Wyatt's “cheesy” reply actually works wonders lol. Let him know that failing isn't the end of the world and you support him one hundred percent.

Lastly just try to help around the house as much as you can. I know I don't show it enough but I am extremely grateful with every extra thing that my wife does. Also congratulations on your baby! 7-8 months is more than enough time to study and pass REG and BEC, especially since he already went through the material for REG, and BEC only takes like 2 months to study for max.

Best wishes to you both!

[Tyler]

Meghan, I just want to commend you for being an awesome wife. The fact that you are coming onto this forum really shows how much you support and care for you husband.

I personally had a mental breakdown after each exam, no matter how you actually do on the exam it is very mentally draining and it's hard to feel confident leaving the test center. I almost cried after FAR. One thing my wife did really well was giving me space when I needed it, and finding fun things to do to take my mind off of everything. My wife also told me she knows it sucks. I feel like everyone on the outside was always saying “oh your smart, you will be fine” or “i'm sure you passed don't worry about it”. Sometimes it was nice to hear my wife say she knows that it sucks, but that she was going to be there for me no matter what.

[lfranc8]

Hi Meghan!
Congrats on the baby!!
So I am a newly wed taking the exam. I passed AUD on the first try and then failed FAR with a 72. I cried and definitely realized I do not handle failure well. Even slipping into a little bit of depression after failing. It is a total mental game. I agree with the others in do not bring it up. It also is hard when others are like “you will be fine” and ” i know you will pass it”. I know I personally have put in the 200hrs for several of these tests and many do not realize just how much time that is out of your life with friends, family, and even quality time with your spouse.My husband is really supportive and appreciates how hard I am working at doing this for our future. I know during my breaks I try to do a lot together. For example, even running errands and trying to spend some quality time with just us. Also, maybe reach out to some of his friends and schedule him so time with them. Its very easy to let everything overwhelm you. Hope this helps and best of luck!

[Jimmy Dugan]

I think you are a great wife for asking advice on the forum. He is a lucky guy! We are also expecting, and my wife has had to put up with me taking these things while carrying a child.

I have to agree with some other posters here in that it is best not to mention the exam too much. It's stressful just hearing about it, for whatever reason. Where I am a little different than the common opinion here is that I think it is best to keep him engaged in his normal life outside of the exam. It's well-meaning advice for someone to say “do as much as you can”, “don't make him do anything around the house”, etc. The reality is the more time he doesn't have to devote to his much larger life and responsibilities outside of the exam, the more time he has to sit around and think about whether or not he passed the last one, and worry about whether or not he is going to pass the next one.

Keep him tied to reality, i.e. be his reminder that he has things going on in his life that are so much bigger than a tough exam process.

[meghan]

Thanks everyone for all of the advice! Each day is getting a little bit better. He is still doubtful, but isn't acting devastated anymore. I just know it was mentally brutal on him, so taking a break from the 4 hour study sessions (after a full work day!) has to be doing some type of good for his mental health! Not sure what his mental state will be waiting for the score release on the 19th… lol.

[Small4]

The fact that you went here to see if theres any way you can help your hubby, that it itself is great. I was in the similar situation too like your husband. My wife was very supportive but i usually am just very hard on myself especially the amount of times i failed this exam/added pressure of having a family etc.. The works, basically the same as you guys. What i feel like what helped me the most is, the times when i feel really burned out, my wife used to just remind me that whatever happens, everything is going to be fine. Its a re-take-able test. Life goes on after. Everything will be ok. Although sometimes i go “yeah, but im still stressed the hell out”…but there are times when it lifted some of the pressure away from that exam. Sure, alot is weighing on it..but at the end of the day, ITS JUST A TEST. Its not brain surgery where if you fail, someone dies. We can re-take it over and over…

BEC - 68,70,72,75 5/15
AUD - 78(expired), 77 8/15
REG - 29,58,65,77 1/16
FAR - 56,68,73 - retake October hopefully (last shot)

Been doing this since 2007 on and off...

[meghan]

I just thought I would give yall an update! My husband passed REG with an 88… his best score yet! This has definitely given him a huge confidence boost to get this last section done before the baby gets here. He's already studying hard.
Thanks again for all the advice, it definitely helped keep us a semi sane household up until Monday, about 10 mins before score release! Good luck to everyone continuing to truck on!

[Tncincy]

@Meghan, I'm glad you care enough about your husbands career to log in and ask the questions. The responses on this site are not always nice and kind, but to be willing to put your family out there was very encouraging to me. Most of us are hard on ourselves and for some reason we believe we should automatically know the answers. I'm glad he passed Reg and please continue to support him if he has more parts to take. This is not easy, and I am sure he appreciate the willing support. You both will enjoy the benefits of his career as a CPA.

It begins with a 75
Been here too long as a cheerleader....ready to pass

[Nate]

Glad your husband passed! I can totally relate to your husband, as after BEC, I wasn't sure but didn't care since I hadn't passed an exam yet and didn't feel pressure. Then after AUD and FAR, I was pretty confident I passed so my anxiety levels were low. However, REG was my last exam, and after I took that one, I thought for sure I bombed and was so upset. So I totally know how he felt, and I also remember the shock of when I passed! My wife surprised me at my office with balloons as she looked up the score for me. I'm sure it was a wonderful feeling for both you and your husband to see that 88.

I know I'm late, but after REG, I had bad anxiety, and what got me over it was just the realization, and I mean this in no offense to anyone, that the world is way bigger than the CPA exam. Shortly after REG my wife got an emergency email from a lady she used to do mission trips to Africa for asking for help. The village she was in was being attached by jihadists who were using machetes to kill innocent men, women, and children that believe in the Christian faith. When I sat there, freaking out over my REG exam, it hit me, in other parts of the world, young innocent children just hope to live to see tomorrow. That got me focused off of the anxiety of the exam and to bigger things. The good news is that nobody at the specific orphanage my wife was a missionary to in Mozambique was harmed, all of the foster children and missionaries were able to safely avoid the jihadists. I don't mean this to offend anyone or make anyone feel guilty, believe me I struggle as much as anyone with anxiety and focusing on only myself and my family, but sometimes, just understanding what happens in this world can make our problems seem so small and insignificant.

[Author]

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