[Lillian]

So, my mom is one of my major support systems. Each time she calls if I’m in the middle of studying, I would stop. Until recently. I’m out of work and am taking the time to really get some good study time in during the day until my husband and children gets home from work, school, and daycare. For the pst week when my mom calls, instead of answering I send a text to let her know that I’m studying and will call back. I told her that now that I’m not working that I would be spending this time studying and she claimed to have understood. I try to text daily to at least say hey and things of that nature but for the past 3 days she doesn’t respond back. She says that she supports me but I feel like the minute I don’t pick up she gets mad. Does anyone else experience this? I’ve started putting my phone on silent while I’m studying…I don’t even answer my husbands call until I get to a point when I have a break and he gets it. I really thought that my mom would too…she sends my calls to voicemail when I call… it seems really childish to me but I just needed to get it out with a group of people that understands. No one truly understands the resources that goes into studying for the exams until they are doing it themselves so I think I’ll just give her some space and time.

On my way to a CPA

[Missy]

I'd just let her know that for now you're treating this exam as a full time job and unfortunately that also means no personal calls during work (study) hours. How she chooses to respond (and its a choice) is on her but she's not likely to understand this is so much more intense than college studies unless she's also a CPA (in which case this thread likely wouldn't have even been necessary to type out 🙂 )

Licensed Massachusetts Non Reporting CPA since 2012
Finance/Admin/HR Manager

[Anonymous]

Studying should always be a high priority, and a supportive family understands that. Maybe there's some other issue or just a complete misunderstanding with your mom. Why don't you take some time one day and ask her to go to lunch? I know that takes away from your study time, but in the long run is it worth it to let your relationship with your mom suffer so you can get done studying a little bit sooner? Also, this is clearly bothering you, which is probably an emotional distraction from your studying anyway.

If she agrees to go to lunch with you, ask her questions and she if she'll open up. Don't start out by telling her how you feel and pointing the finger at her. Say things like “I've been sensing some distance between us. Is there anything bothering you?” Let her be the one to open up first so you can truly see what she's feeling and understand where she's coming from. Otherwise she's like to get defensive because she feels like you're accusing her of something that may not even be true.

A very difficult (and valuable) lesson I'm still trying to learn from this process is how to make studying a high priority without it being the absolute top priority. I can't just completely put my life and everyone in it on hold for a year or more. Finding that balance is really difficult and can be made even more difficult when the people you are closest to aren't understanding!

[Author]

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