[jlee1086]

Today, I started REG and the class went about 20 minutes overtime. I got gas on the way back so naturally, I came home tired. After dinner, my sister calls to say she’s coming home. My dad told my mom to take me with her (supposedly to watch the road) when she picks my sister up from the train station. When my mom asked if I was tired, my dad yelled at her for it. Now, this was never an issue before. Most of the time, I stayed home when either of my parents picked up my sister. When I said yes to the question, my dad told me to tough it out. I said I already toughed it out for 8 hours. He didn’t say much after that but I think he was implying that he faced tougher challenges after coming home from work. But I don’t use my brain as much at work as class. I ultimately went with my mom because the alternative would have been crying at home. And the real reason he wanted both me and my mom out of the house is because he wants to talk to a woman he has an emotional affair with.

I was already stressed with waiting for my score and deciding what to do about REG. Also, my dad had a history of saying insensitive things when I said I was too busy to do ______. As an example, before I started school, my parents deposited my grandma’s money in my account for safekeeping. They told me how much when that happened but school happened. One semester was 17 credits and I really struggled with it. When he asked how much was my grandma’s money, he was upset I forgot and said I shouldn’t only think about school. As if I didn’t feel bad enough about my fallen GPA and whether I would get a job. There were similar backburner incidents where my dad said I shouldn’t only think about the CPA. I feel like a shmuck for not being able to juggle sometimes. You would think that if he’s a CPA, he would be more supportive. Then again, he said he never worried about it. He must think I’m crazy that I always worry.

It hurts that he’s neglecting his family for the other woman. Although my mom bears the brunt of it, I’m really upset my dad doesn’t care that I’m having a tough time with the exam. With my parent’s marital issues spilling over, I now wonder what the hell did I get myself into with REG. I started studying because it expires on 2/28. Plus the next class starts January which means I wouldn’t be able to study BEC when it starts in February. In my area, they only have BEC twice a year. But if it turns out I failed AUD, the next class is in December, which would start in the same week as the last REG class. How the hell would I do a Plan B? I feel fragile right now and I don’t know how much I can study when I’m dealing with both waiting and my dad’s lack of support. What if he does something to make me cry again?

FAR 57 (11/2014), 64 (1/2015), 79 (7/2015)
AUD 68 (2/2015), 79 (11/2015)
REG 79 (1/2016)
BEC 81 (4/2016)