[smazthespaz]

So I started dating someone about two months ago and things are going really well (this is not just going to be me bragging the whole time). I’ve never really had a serious steady GF before, but I feel like this is turning into one of those relationships. For the record, I’m still against most forms of PDA.

Anyway, here is where I’m torn. I received a job offer today from my company to take another accounting position halfway across the country, where I would definitely stand out as a big yankee doodle. It isn’t a promotion, but it is a lateral move that would give me some serious brownie points with the corporate folks. I would be the only accountant at the plant. I could definitely say no to it, but it might affect my career path.

The first thing I thought about was the GF. I think it is still WAY too early to ask her to move with me, and besides, she has already hinted that her roots are planted in earlier conversations. I also don’t like the idea of a long distance relationship. My manager and I are pretty close, and I think she may have hinted to the interested party that I may refuse due to said GF. I know which way I’m leaning, but I have the weekend to decide. Do I talk to my girlfriend before making the decision? I don’t want to put her in an awkward spot. Any other advice???

REG - 83 11/24/14
AUD - 94 2/17/15
FAR - 93 5/26/15
BEC - 90 8/10/15

[smazthespaz]

Skynet – how generous of you to offer! Unfortunately I'm not in SoCal… Thanks anyway

Maybe I should give a little more information. I'm in a rotational program and this new job is not something I even thought about applying for. My current job is a pretty nice gig. I supervise 5 full time employees one of the larger work locations. I have only been in this job for 12 months now. This new job I am being offered is definitely not a promotion and there would be reasons besides the GF I wouldn't take it. I wouldn't have any supervisory experience. While it is a different job, it looks like I would be doing some more of the same roles I'm currently doing. There are some new experiences to offer, but it certainly isn't something that I wanted as my next job. Also, the work location sucks. Like I'm used to living in cities, and this is really a reach.

The career reason I would say yes, is because if I refuse they might not have me on the top of the list for another job. It's possible I'll be labeled as “immobile”. My plan in my head was to start looking for a new job in another year or so, but this was just thrown at me like a bag of bricks.

REG - 83 11/24/14
AUD - 94 2/17/15
FAR - 93 5/26/15
BEC - 90 8/10/15

[Anonymous]

Based on your most recent post, it doesn't sound like a good career move for you. So what if they label you as “immobile”? Taking the crap offer cause they offered it to you doesn't mean you'll move up later. It sounds like, if anything, it's a minor demotion. Maybe they already don't like you and you're really on the route out, and just don't know it, or maybe they're just not good at rewarding good behavior. Either way, I wouldn't take it. If your upward career movement with this company is over, then that just means that a year from now you can look elsewhere for a job and get a bigger move up (title and pay both, likely) by moving to another company. Most people these days have to move their career by switching companies rather than by being promoted within the same company.

However, if you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, you could use the GF as an excuse for not taking the move. I don't know if it would be a good idea or not (could make it look like your GF is more important to you than your career, or could make it look like you appreciated their offer but were unfortunately unable to take it, depends on how the manager interprets it). Probably the better option would be to say that you appreciate the offer and the trust they place in you to recommend you for a position that would have so much responsibility, but that you are wanting to move in a management direction with your career so prefer to remain in your current position with its supervisory duties, and would be happy to hear about any supervisory/management openings they have, or something like that. If you can present it in a way that shows you are open to change, but also that this isn't the career direction you want to move, I think you'll be OK.

[Anonymous]

Do what you feel is right for your career first and foremost. It sounds like it is just bad timing. It is nice that you are considerate to her and have factored it into your decision.

[Allergic2CPA]

@OP

Lilla pretty much nailed it with her last post.

You mention in your latest post that your plan was to look for another job in a year. Ok…so why are you concerned if they label you as immobile if you are planning to leave in the not too distant future anyways?

Also, if you present to them why you rather not take the offer but you are open to other offers more aligned with your career and that leaves a bad taste in their mouth, then isnt that unfair of them? That would pretty much explain their mentality…they dont care about your career but just want to fill a potentially undesirable position. That would tell you what kind of employer you have.

I would also hold on to that supervisory role as someone who has had a difficult time finding such a role despite glowing annual reviews with different employers/industries. It really sets your career at a different level.

It sounds like you shouldnt take the job based on its own merits so the gf aspect is essentially a non-issue.

FAR 46*, 77
AUD 70, 79
BEC 67, 82
REG 75

Texas License July 2013

Used Yaeger lectures based on Wiley textbooks

*Studied less than two weeks, forgot I had purchased NTS.

[smazthespaz]

Lilla – Thanks for the advice. You post is very well thought out. I definitely agree with you – it's not a matter of rejecting the offer that might get me in trouble, it's how I present the rejection. This is something I will need to gameplan this weekend if I decide against it (I'm still torn btw – and dragging right now at work bc I lost sleep last night).

6silvermoonbeams – It is absolutely just terrible timing. I mean two months is barely enough time to get to know somebody. I think I would regret leaving a good thing behind.

Allergic2CPA – I found out today that I was not the first person they asked. There was someone else that turned it down for a much less legitimate reason (not wanting to be the only accountant there – I mean come on!?!?!). This is absolutely just a position they want to fill, but I'm not sure now if I want to be the second person to refuse. Wouldn't that make it worse? Oh and I meant look for a new job w/in my company in a year or so in my last post, but I would be open to external opportunities as well

REG - 83 11/24/14
AUD - 94 2/17/15
FAR - 93 5/26/15
BEC - 90 8/10/15

[Allergic2CPA]

@Smaz

Well once again, the fact that they cant fill the role is not your problem it is theirs. The fact that you are the 2nd person to be asked is just happenstance and shouldnt obligate you.

Your employer will let you go in less than a heartbeat if it's in their best interest so you being altruistic and doing them major favors without knowing what that translates to in the future doesnt sound like a good thing.

Note that Im not suggesting that it wont leave them with a bad taste in their mouth but I explained before what that says about them not concerning themselves with your career and just wanting to fill the role.

I think if you were to present your rejection as Lilla laid out, then that should keep you in good graces with reasonable people but if doesnt well they are not reasonable people. I mean they are going to be upset that you didnt take what you feel is a demotion?

I'm generally opposed to people going far and beyond to please their employers without concrete rewards because employers dont generally do the same for their employees.

I dont see what tangible benefits you are getting in return in the present (future promises dont mean anything) that outweigh the potential sacrifices of moving to a place you dont care for to work in a lesser role and might have to give up a promising relationship.

It is a risk one way or another but I really dont see the benefits of leaving your supervisory role for a non-supervisory one. You yourself provided more cons than pros subsequent to your OP.

It is ultimately up to you so best of luck!

FAR 46*, 77
AUD 70, 79
BEC 67, 82
REG 75

Texas License July 2013

Used Yaeger lectures based on Wiley textbooks

*Studied less than two weeks, forgot I had purchased NTS.

[Author]

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