Studying with Bipolar/Depression

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  • #196246

    Hello.

    I had to move my first exam back to October (was Aug 31). Part of the reason was due to scheduling conflicts (I work as an audit associate for medium sized regional firm). However, the main reason is I am diagnosed bipolar and clincal depression. What this boils down to is that I have extreme depressive states where just going to work and being my normal self (which believe it or not, I’m actually a “nice” and “extremely enjoyable” person to be around as reviewed by my peers) literally exhausts me. Leaves me drained, tired, etc. My “manic” stages are anger – which translates to me hiding my anger in the work environment and coming home drained, tired, and definitely ticked off I have to study.

    My clinical depression diagnosis came as no surprise – I’d been self-aware for some time. The bipolar disorder did come as a shock, and I haven’t really figured out how to properly deal with it. I’m unmedicated and don’t have time to study much less see a therapist, so while I appreciate those suggestions – I don’t believe in medicine and I don’t have time for therapy.

    So, my point of posting this was if anyone else in the wide another71 community suffered from either of these disorders and had tips/advice on how to push through it. I’ve forgotten a majority of the studying for REG I did in July, so I find myself even MORE frustrated as I try to just keep moving forward. I had gotten to chapter five (Becker). My study plan showed me I had time to re-start at R4 and still have two weeks to review. So, my next question is if anyone can verify that review will save me. I had previous tax experience so individuals is pretty locked down for me, unless it’s super deep. R3 and R4 seriously are a bummer.

    I’m rambling, but can’t exactly walk up to a co-worker and be like ‘Hey man! Are you bipolar? Do you have tips for bipolar people on taking the exam?’.

    I promise I’m not so serious… but this test is too expensive to fail, there is pressure financially to pass, and light pressure at work to pass to receieve promotion.

    REG - 10/2
    BEC - 11/30
    FAR - Feb. 2016
    AUD - April 2016

Viewing 15 replies - 1 through 15 (of 34 total)
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  • #1426712
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I'm bipolar as well. Take the meds. They're terrible for a couple months, but I've passed my firsr three sections on the first try now that the emotional rollercoaster is outta my way. I had to postpone my first exam date twice due to mania and the subsequent hospitalization. But i was back at it in about 6 months.

    Bipolar disorder requires very careful attention and management. It cannot be conquered with willpower alone.

    Since this post is about 1.5 years old, I hope you've already been able to take and pass your exam at this point. However, where there's two of us, there's likely many more, so I sincerely hope that my reply will help the next candidate that is as special as us in the 1% whom have bp.

    #1426775
    aaronmo
    Participant

    I don't have useful input, but I do feel motivated to say:

    1. This must be a real challenge, and I wish you the best.
    2. I would make time for mental health and prioritize it if I had any reasonable way to do it.
    3. I think the way you posted this says a lot of good stuff about you…

    I really hope you're posting about how you overcame challenges, and advising others, soon.

    #1426797
    ruggercpa2b
    Participant

    You should go see someone. I was in the same boat. But I just figured how I was feeling was just normal for me. When it started affecting my work and productivity at work I decided it would not hurt to see a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with depression and bipolar. They started me on meds and after a month of taking my meds I could tell a difference. Even my husband mentioned how much more pleasant I was to be around and seemed so much happier.

    It affected my studying as well. When I wasn't at work I was sleeping for more than 12 hours a day. It took everything out of me just to get out of bed.

    AUD - 73, 72 retake 7/2/2016
    BEC - 8/20/2016
    REG - TBD
    FAR - TBD

    I am so ready for this nightmare to be over. Been at this way too long.

    #1426812
    jbergmann1
    Participant

    I also struggle with bipolar disorder but I was able to become licensed in about a year. It can be hard, as I have been hospitalized 2 times since working (once for depression and once for mania).

    My advice for anyone struggling with this is to persevere and try not to make yourself study during parts of the year when you have more problems. For example with me, mania comes in the spring and depression follows in the summer after the mania dies down. The rest of the year is not that bad for me typically.

    So yes, it does take work because you have to be aware of your limitations but it is doable.

    Passed all 4 parts of the CPA exam!
    License application in progress

    #1426817
    LIZZ
    Participant

    Thank you for this post. I assume most people do not understand how hard it is to keep your emotions under control and find the energy to keep studying. Once you find something that works for you stick with it. I usually the one for natural remedies to fight my depression but during the CPA i have giving myself permission to medicate.

    FAR - 05/2015
    AUD - 75,11/2014
    REG - 07/2015
    BEC - 09/2015

    #1426902
    cpac
    Participant

    I struggled with anxiety/depression all through college and weened off my anti-depressants right as a I started studying. I have moments when I feel so depressed and anxious that I don't know if I can continue this exam. It's a challenge, but I hope that we can all hang in there and keep ourselves happy!!

    #1427451
    Josh
    Participant

    This is tough, but I believe it's best to be candid. Let me explain. I talked to my doctor about my exam, and he issued me heart medicine for anxiety in my exam, not to be taken until at the center for its side effects. He also wrote a note for me to give to my board. It takes a month for my board to approve something like that, but it may be worth it under the ADA, at least, according to my physician?

    My doctor also said if you got anxiety like I do, exercise more and cut back on caffeine. That's not been easy, but I'm more mindful of what causes those feelings now. I suggest counseling and psychiatry if you need it like I do. I believe I caught this depression I've been in since 2007 before I got to take the exam and even related to the exam. I am also of the mindset that the little things I do can make a difference on how I will bring myself out of it. Despite being in long-term/chronic clinical major depression, I am not giving up to the belief, I can overcome it with help from others.

    Exam depression is situational and more common than what I got, but the same principles apply. Be positive, which is easier said than done; and take regular breaks and take care of yourself while studying or your body/mind will find a way to take them without your consent lol. Always remember why and daily/in the hard moments when your body is not cooperating, remind yourself why you're taking these exams! Good luck, everyone!

    P.S. my mom has bipolar and dementia, and even though it may be more severe, I take pride in her willingness to fight to be positive. Despite her unrealistic expectations and denial of her situation(s), she is quite an encouragement to me to hang in there, no matter what. She also believes in me and in herself even when my outlook may be more grim.

    P.S.S. my new immediate family is more healthy so far, and they are my why/inspiration. My exam today is for all of us especially them.

    #1427456
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I've been studying with Chronic Depression too. It is definitely not easy, so I take my medication, go on walks, and have family support. I am also burned out, which makes things worse. But, I persevere and keep grinding through these exams one at a time. I believe quite a few people will struggle with depression/anxiety during these exams due to their difficulty and the required isolation to properly study. This is not an easy process – at all. Keep your head up and remind yourself that you are making sacrifices for your future and these exams will be in the rearview mirror someday. Goodluck everyone and know that you are NOT alone!

    #1427496
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Yes, let it never be said that the CPA exams don't totally f**k with your brain… Many of us (I would say MOST of us) who don't have “clinical” depression or bipolar disorders, and don't take meds for them, still experience a lot of the same symptoms. Studying for FAR these past months resulted in a lot of issues for me. I never reached the point of suicide or anything but it definitely made me feel like the lowliest lifeform in the universe and wish I'd never been born. But…it's amazing how fast you can come back from stuff like that. I guess I'm of the attitude that if I never pass, I don't really care, but I'll die trying. Of course, there are plenty of people who have a lot on the line with these exams, like their life is not going to go anywhere if they don't pass them, and fast. Anyway, whatever anyone needs to get thru the exams – meds or whatever, just take them and find a way to deal with it, that's all any of us can do!

    #1427511
    Char143
    Participant

    I don't like medications either! I don't have either of those two conditions, and this may sound silly, but I've been doing this for a while and it has changed my life (I had a lot of anxiety-before and during this cpa exam process): Essential oils! Every day rub some on your forehead and your wrists and while you study have a diffuser right in your face diffusing the oils-and inhale them deep. The oils that seem to help with bipolar disorder according to a website I found (posted below) are:
    Rosemary
    Cinnamon
    Lavender
    Basil
    Rose
    Thyme Coupons
    Mint
    Eucalyptus
    Frankincense
    Melissa
    Vetiver
    Clary sage

    I know it sounds silly, and I remember I would think that people who would talk about essential oils were weirdo's and hippies.. BUT WOW. The calmed my headaches, my back pain, and I don't get sick nearly as much as I used to.

    You have nothing to lose if you aren't going to take meds or see a therapist.

    read this article:

    Best Essential Oils for Help with Bipolar Disorder

    Do read all the facts first and make sure you aren't allergic to anything.. Good luck!

    AUD (2/16)-84
    REG (05/16)-69 Retake (7/16)-79 (ty ninja MCQ)
    BEC-TBD
    FAR-9/8/16

    #1427603
    PJ004
    Participant

    I dont have advice on the test itself, but my dad has bipolar depression and boy its hard! All I can say it, keep taking your meds, even when you feel well and think you don't need to, stick to them and you'll be fine! As long as you feel well mentally, you'll have the strength you need for the exam. The meds make my dad very sleepy, so I'm sure coffee will be your best friend! Best of luck!!

    #1427606
    aaronmo
    Participant

    I can definitely agree with Leon…

    I took on FAR first, which didn't help. My background was notably lacking compared to other people I was sitting with…it was VERY hard getting back 50%'s in Becker homework and I felt like I really didn't have a read on the process on the whole. I wanted to quit MANY times, felt stupid, was depressed…etc.

    I was about 60% sure that I had failed FAR when I walked out of there…and I thought if I passed, it would be by the skin of my teeth. I was SHOCKED by the result.

    All of which is to say hang in there…YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    #1427612
    aaronmo
    Participant

    One positive from the experience…

    Accountants are, in my experience, less BS'y than most other profession “types”. When I prepped the LSAT, people were lying about practice results, how hard they studied…you name it.

    Folks here are, IME, more honest. The exams suck. You can get through them. We all struggle in some areas. There are very few people that this will come easily for, and different exams, and parts of exams, test different things…so you're going to hit some chop.

    Be ready for turbulence…every single person feels it…stay with it if it's important to you. Other people who got high scores also got 50's back on practice tests.

    #1427622
    aaronmo
    Participant

    Sorry…quick story…

    When I was feeling like absolute ass about myself early during FAR, a woman I was sitting next to told me some of what I told you…

    The practice tests are SUPPOSED to be hard and they're supposed to be a learning tool, not an indicator of preparation. It is NOT a huge deal if you're getting 50s when you're going through for the first time.

    This process is going to be hard for EVERYONE…and you really don't know how you're doing on the exams until score release. EVERYONE is feeling the same stress and anxiety you are. YOU'RE NOT STUPID!

    I tried to help others in later Becker classes to pay it forward…one woman who was in my class was taking her first exam at the same time I was. I tried to calm her down…she was shivering with anxiety (I probably was my first exam too, at least inside). She threw up actually. She came back…sat the test…and she ended up with a strong score.

    If you crap yourself in there…it DOESN'T MATTER…it cleans up. Take the exams and do your best.

    I'm not trying to be gross…I'm trying to explain that whatever happens…get up and do your best.

    #1427745
    Scared-cpa
    Participant

    I have never been diagnosed with anything, but I also haven't been to a doctor about it, either. However, I am pretty positive I have some form of anxiety. I scheduled my exam today and now knowing what day I will be retaking FAR has gotten in my head. I was doing wonderfully on Ninja MCQs for a while – 80s and 90s. Now I am getting 60s and 70s. My heart is pounding, I cannot concentrate, I'm shivering with nervousness yet sweating. I have to reread the question multiple times and even then I usually don't understand what I should be doing, so I just guess. I wish there was some way for me to calm myself down. My brain knows I shouldn't be freaking out but my body doesn't want to cooperate. I have always had anxiety but this exam really exacerbates it. Then the self-doubt comes into play. I scored a 67 the first time so what they heck makes me think this time will be any different…I'm obviously too stupid for this exam. I will never be able to pass this test so I may as well be happy as just an accountant and not certified. Fortunately come test day, my adrenaline usually helps me concentrate but my brain still doesn't function as well as it should. It's just overall an awful process for me. I really appreciate @aaronmo posts as they show that other people experience the same thing. All we can do is try to fix our problems, do our very best, and know that we do the best we can with what we have and know at the moment.

Viewing 15 replies - 1 through 15 (of 34 total)
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