Spouse Tolerance - Page 2

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    Topic
  • #199020
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Anyone have any ideas of how to get my spouse to be more tolerant with my spending so many hours studying? I am busy half the night studying while she has to be busy with bedtime etc. Sometimes she can get annoyed.

Viewing 15 replies - 16 through 30 (of 33 total)
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  • #751896
    Sandia
    Member

    @CPA HOPEFULL

    I am in the other side… when I passed my test my hubby told me: “for almost 2 year, I did not have a wife and the kids have a mother part time. Every weekend night, I went out with my friends as a single person, now you passed, it is hard for me back doing plans with you” .. LOL

    Tell her to go out for shopping, gym, and whatever she wants as her life before you… and of course, give her time to adjust herself to her new life until you passed.

    FAR - 77 x2 Wiley book & no test bank
    AUD - 83 x3 NINJA Test bank 3 time
    REG - 80 x1 NINJA Test bank
    BEC - 78 X2 NINJA Test bank ..done!!promesa cumplida mama -que llege al cielo 🙂
    Ethic 100% Licensed VA CPA

    #751897
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    When I was studying for CPA, my husband and I put our desks back to back in the office. We have a big computer monitor in between us (so we can't see each other directly). Every night after dinner and on the weekend, we both sat in the office. I was studying while he was watching Netflix/playing games/using internet… Occasionally we would have small talks, but most time we both focused on our own things. Sometimes I made tea for us or brought snacks for us. I really enjoyed the time we spent together like this. It's like dating in college lol. When we both got tired of sitting in front of computer, we would take a walk or go to gym together. I feel time goes faster than I was sitting in library alone. We didn't have kids then, but I am sure that would be so much more difficult to handle the situation.

    #751898
    Missy
    Participant

    I think many people commenting think wife is looking for attention and missed this: ” I am busy half the night studying while she has to be busy with bedtime etc.”

    I'm sure she'd love nothing more than to be able to go out shopping or to the gym or sit quietly in the same room as her hubby. But when kids need baths, homework checked, rides home, bedtime stories etc it can be frustrating to have the other parent literally right there studying. Trust me as a mom, we're not thinking “geez when do I get to go eat bonbons” we're thinking “man, if hubby could get the kids to bed for me I could fold laundry and start tomorrow's lunches for school.”

    Its never all or nothing, there's a way to make it all work. Its hard but happy wife=happy life.

    Licensed Massachusetts Non Reporting CPA since 2012
    Finance/Admin/HR Manager

    #751899
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Thanks @mla11692, Finally someone got my question. Its not all about dating, there is more to a home with children.

    #751900
    Missy
    Participant

    You know what would give her a big perk? Get a housekeeper once a week or every other week. Not terribly pricey really and shows that you acknowledge she needs an extra set of hands. I'm telling ya, she will LOVE it and will improve the quality of both of your lives!!

    Also a bit of benedryl never hurts at bedtime……lol. I am KIDDING.

    Licensed Massachusetts Non Reporting CPA since 2012
    Finance/Admin/HR Manager

    #751901
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    @CPA I completely get where you're coming from. My husband took care of the kids completely while I studied non stop for 4 months. My little ones are 3 1/2 and 18 months. It was rough. He was a trooper. One thing I always did was bed time with my littlest (she's a momma's girl). It took 45 minutes, but it was a mental break for me and I got to snuggle with her. And it gave him a break. A lot of times the older one would sit in my lap while I studied and color.
    Just make sure to give her her time too… just like MLA said, you're sacrificing but she is too and it's very important to have that balance.
    As much as you're doing it for your family you still need to put their needs out in front of you too – the more you work in tandem the easier the process will be.

    #751902
    zoctoman
    Member

    So I've passed the exam and now my wife is starting her journey. The best thing we do is vent together about how hard life is while trying to pass these tests and take care of the kids. We are on the same team, so when we go through these tough stretches of studying a ton while one parent takes care of both kids, we recognize how hard it is together. So yeah it sucks, but we recognize that we are choosing this to better our life.

    I understand most spouses don't also have an accounting degree. So doing something special and surprising once in a while during this time could be great for the relationship. It is also important that both spouses understand the importance of taking this exam.

    For me personally, having spent weeks at a time studying while my wife watches the kids as well as spending this past month watching the kids while my wife studies, I can say the harder part(for me) has been taking care of the children. When I study I am in a mode, and even though it is hard my day goes by faster and it really isn't that bad. Now taking care of the kids while my wife studies makes for a much longer and taxing day(on the body at least).

    As long as you are understanding of what your spouse has to go through, then everything should be just fine!

    Audit(11/5/13) - 89
    Reg(5/16/14) - 86
    FAR(7/18/14) - 82
    BEC(11/14) - 85

    #751903
    Zyx
    Participant

    I don't know if I'm considered a lucky one to have a tech nerd husband that plays PS4 a lot while I'm studying. Too much studying never be our issues. When he found out that I passed REG he was like “urhhh you're gonna pass the rest soon!!”
    I think he kinda wishes my CPA journey never ended hahaha. My point is I let him do whatever he wants when I'm studying which he is home most of the time just hanging out with folks, playing games&watching sports. I get to study and I don't have much time for him so he should be able to do something he likes to entertain himself…balance.

    REG: 77 x2
    BEC: 81 x3
    FAR: 68 retake 10/1
    AUD: 8/27

    #751904
    Skynet
    Participant

    Zyx11- You do know that when it is a choice between a man's PS4 and his wife, the PS4 by default almost always wins.

    I'm sure a lot of ignored naked wives and girlfriends will testify to that.

    #751905
    Vanessachy
    Participant

    @bravesfancc, I like your idea a lot. I am going to let my husband to quiz me before the exam and it should be fun

    Far 10/26/2015, 64, 1/4/2016, 82
    Reg 7/10/2015, 60, 2/27/2016, 86
    Aud, 5/9/2016, 74 (ouch), 7/26/2016, I cannot wait to take this test again
    Bec, 6/10/2016, 70,9/8 retake

    #751906
    Gabe
    Participant

    I did what bravesfancc did. My wife has no background in accounting so if I could explain it to her I knew I understood the topics. Plus, she would always ask me questions, like, why isn't this answer right? Or, why isn't this security included in this law? etc etc etc.

    That being said, I also agree with mla, we got a really cheap housekeeper once a week to help with the house. I also always communicated my schedule with her. If I needed extra time, she knew it. Lastly, I'd give her a break. I would usually study 5-7am, 1 hour at lunch, then after the boys went down. From 5-8pm I had the boys and she got to decompress a little. I also randomly surprised her with flowers A LOT 🙂

    Good luck! It can be done!

    CPA, CFE
    CISA- Experience will be completed by August 2016

    #751907
    red_rose
    Participant

    I would say (im not married but have been with my boyfriend for 3 yrs) just make time at least 1 day a week for you both. I'm lucky that my bf tells me to study everyday & even helps me with flashcards, but for others it can be a challenge. So our day is Sunday. We'll go grocery shopping together at an open market for fruits/veggies, go to the coast (only 45 min away) to get fresh seafood. And we've been to wineries/breweries outside of the city, go out to eat, if you party go to a bar/club, do little projects like painting a table/furniture, movies…anything will help. We have dinner every night together. (we both have our own places). You want a partner thats understanding but you cant neglect your job, spouse/relationship or kids either. I would say at least give 1 full day in the week no studying and 1 hour a week for dinner or to talk. It makes a huge diff to have support without resentment. Good luck! 🙂

    BEC – 77
    FAR – 75 (second try perfect score!!! wooooo)
    AUD – TBD 2016
    REG – TBD

    #751908
    golfball7773
    Participant

    I still think we keep coming back to Skynet's idea

    FAR: 63, 55, 62
    REG: 65, 77*
    AUD: Fail, 64, 71
    BEC: 72, 74, 81

    *expired

    #751909
    kenster7773
    Participant

    Wow! Seeing these responses is just depressing! Really people? I took the CPA slow and steady and had PLENTY of time for my wife; I romanced her like crazy, we went to bed and breakfasts, Canada, Florida, California, and a host of other places, went biking, and just lived an awesome life all while I was studying. It can be done! I promise! I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer but I averaged an 87 on these exams and still perfectly balanced my personal life at the same time with plenty of time for my wife and daughter. You need to get a vision, a sense of what is possible, then figure out how to get there. One thing I would do is go jog and play Rogers CPA on my bluetooth. Also, I would discreetly study when we traveled to Memphis to see my wife's parents and on the weekends. However, I would study for like three hours, then give her the rest of the day. Manage your expectations with your spouse or SO. What I did was decide that studying would be FUN and REWARDING and it was. I rather enjoyed the whole experience, maybe I am one of the only CPAs to ever be able to say this! But I DECIDED to have an awesome attitude and it made all the difference. Positive people attract positive circumstances!! Anyway, just want to present a contrasting opinion. You really can have it all! Now, if you want to pass in 3 or 6 months then you will have to spend every second studying and sacrifice everything unless you are the smartest person of all time. 🙂 Me, I am not very smart. I spread it out over 2 yrs and had a blast doing it! So it all depends on your approach!

    AUD - 95 (89 1st time - expired)
    BEC - 85 (1st time)
    REG - 87 (1st time)
    FAR - 82 (1st time)

    #751910
    ChristieF
    Participant

    Why don't you take a break and help out with bedtime. I'm a mom, studying and I still do bedtime with my kids every night, and half the time if my 2 yr old just wants to cuddle, I bring my notes with me and read/study while I rock him. I like mla's suggestion of a housekeeper. Definitely though, make time for your wife and kids. It's possible, even if it's not every night.. just 1 or 2 nights a week, help with bedtime and spend some time with your wife. It'll help in the long run. Good luck!

Viewing 15 replies - 16 through 30 (of 33 total)
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