[Anonymous]

Anyone have any ideas of how to get my spouse to be more tolerant with my spending so many hours studying? I am busy half the night studying while she has to be busy with bedtime etc. Sometimes she can get annoyed.

[Missy]

Make sure to make time for her, I can tell you this is a strain on her too and one she may not have chosen given the chance. Doesn't mean you should stop studying but you still need to make her feel special and help out with your family.

Had a husband and kids when I did the exam and I still made time for them. Not as much but they knew without doubt that I acknowledged their sacrifices as much as my own.

Licensed Massachusetts Non Reporting CPA since 2012
Finance/Admin/HR Manager

[jeff]

This: https://www.another71.com/studying-for-cpa-exam-while-married/

Jeff Elliott, CPA (KS) | Another71 | NINJA CPA | NINJA CMA | NINJA CPE

[Skynet]

Consider having and Open Marriage?

[Anonymous]

Thanks @mla11692 for your words, how right you are.

Also thanks Jeff for your great article.

@ Skynet I don't know what your saying, I can have a perfect marriage and it can still be frustrating sometimes

[ruggercpa2b]

Jeff's survival guide is the best thing EVER! I was getting caught up with studying and it was starting to make my husband then fiance annoyed. Especially with me always studying and no pass to show. Every friday night is date night. We usually go out to dinner or the movies. Usually I let him pick what he wants to do. Sometimes we stay in and drink wine and just talk about nothing. I usually get up early to study so I go to bed early. I make sure to put out because he does get cranky. We eat dinner together every night and I usually will turn off the TV so we can just talk about our day and whatever else might be going on.

Its easy to get consumed with studying and I will be honest there are times I just want to study and not be bothered. The last 2 weeks before my exam he knows its crunch time so he usually lets me be and he takes care of dinner and cleaning the house. Its hard but you have to make time for your spouse.

AUD - 73, 72 retake 7/2/2016
BEC - 8/20/2016
REG - TBD
FAR - TBD

I am so ready for this nightmare to be over. Been at this way too long.

[mystical guy]

@CPA Hopefull – This may come as a shock to you but I lost my wife because I was so busy with college, back in my college days.

Playing Devil's Advocate, make time for her! You definitely don't need to study every single day. Surprise her with an outing, once in a while. Maybe have a schedule where you plan something in advance, and take that day off from study to have time for her. I am speaking as a man who is certified in this and that, but alone. Communicate her value to you, and assure her that you want to set some days aside just for the two of you. But also let her understand that you need time for yourself, to study, and highlight the benefits for both of you.

You can have a lot of stuff and no peace, or a lot of peace and no stuff. It's either one of the two, which will you choose?

CPA - Since 2015
CISA - Smashed 2012
CIA - Passed 2015

[Pandarama]

@ruggercpa2b – “I make sure to put out because he does get cranky”. bahahaha.

When a man gets cranky, it's one of three things:
a. he needs a nap
b. he needs to be fed
c. he needs some action

:p jk, maybe

BEC - 80
AUD - 64, 75 - credit lost, 90!!
REG - 73, 74, 83
FAR - 61, 72, 85

Feels good finishing on my best note. Time to watch the mailbox.

[golfball7773]

Skynet's post made me laugh out loud, which I hope was the point 🙂 trying to put humor in a situation that many of us struggle with.

My wife feels so lonely towhen I study at the library and I have learned that I have to block out an evening or a weekend day to make a date night or date day (morning to sleep) dedicated to her and us having fun together.

FAR: 63, 55, 62
REG: 65, 77*
AUD: Fail, 64, 71
BEC: 72, 74, 81

*expired

[Anonymous]

This is such a hard topic, I have been studying for two years and its consumed almost all of my time, aside from work. The spouse and kids have had to go without so that I can finish this process.

I think it all depends on how dedicated and focused you need to stay to pass. If I start to take time off I will let a week or more go by without studying. I always try to eat dinner with them, I don't cook much due to studying and my daughters competitive gym schedules. I do study at the table which they can all see me or study by me. I interact and take some short breaks to hang out and watch a TV show or two. Once they go to bed, I study LATE. I hardly ever go to sleep at normal times and on the weeks my husband works night shift, I go into the office at 6 am, he gets the youngest off to school.

I take time off to watch football, birthday or holiday functions and an occasional date. Other than that, no major events. It sucks, but I hope after January to not have to ever worry about it again. I guess my advice is to do as much for them as you can without losing focus. And explain to them that you may have to miss some things, so pick out the important things and make sure you attend those functions/dates.

[Anonymous]

Well, why doesn't she understand and give you your space?

It's so annoying when women want you available all the time.

[Marcus]

This is a touchy area for me. My serious gf just did not get it, she expected me to be on the phone with her for at least 2 hours a day. When I tried to make suggestions to talk less, she tried it out for a while and then she would say things like “you don't pay enough attention to me.” Also one day she had an incident happen and I couldn't really comfort her and for me it was like the day before my audit exam. I couldn't give support b/c being on my third round with AUD I was on the wire. After my test she confronted me and said I didnt do this and I didnt do that. Sadly shortly after we broke up and I failed aud for a third time. After that I decided to be single and then eventually passed aud. But We tried things like only meeting up one day and talking on the phone maybe 3 times a week and text everyday. But its really hard trying to find that balance between attention to a sig other and time for studying.

[Vanessachy]

It is hard for me and my husband, I haven't find any solutions besides saying thank you and I love you. So far, it is working

Far 10/26/2015, 64, 1/4/2016, 82
Reg 7/10/2015, 60, 2/27/2016, 86
Aud, 5/9/2016, 74 (ouch), 7/26/2016, I cannot wait to take this test again
Bec, 6/10/2016, 70,9/8 retake

[Missy]

Another85 once you have a family its about balancing your own needs with the needs of your spouse and children. Sounds like the OP understands that.

Licensed Massachusetts Non Reporting CPA since 2012
Finance/Admin/HR Manager

[bravesfannc]

One thing that I have done is get my wife involved with my studying. If there is a list of things that I need to memorize I give her a copy of the list and she will quiz me while we're driving, or eating a meal together. She understands that the sooner I pass the sooner she gets me back.

I agree with everyone else to make time for her. Maybe take a 15 minute break when the kids are in bed and give her a foot rub.

FAR - 84 - 11/14/15
AUD - 76 - 2/6/16
BEC - 73 - 7/13/16
REG - TBD

[okcpa2015]

Treat scheduling your time the same way you create a family budget. I would sit down with my wife weekly and get her input on my study schedule. Once we had that week's expectations on paper things were pretty smooth (as long as I stuck to my schedule).

Also, study when no one else needs your time (ie, wake up an hour earlier than normal to study). That part I might have stolen from Jeff's “How to Study During Busy Season” post…

https://www.another71.com/study-for-cpa-exam-tax-season/

FAR - 91
REG - 88
AUD - 98
BEC - 88

[Author]

Replies