[Anonymous]

Ok, you’re all about to be exposed to a side of me you’ve never seen! A serious side *gasp* I know, I know…it’s true.

Here’s my problem. I’ve been dating the same girl for the past 2 years and things have been pretty good. We went to school together, Master’s program together, we’re both CPAs, etc. But other than that, we have NOTHING in common, which would be fine, but we differ on some really fundamental issues. For example, I’m Catholic…I’m not going to lie and say I’m a devout Catholic who goes to Church every Sunday, but I have a strong faith in God and ultimately I want to go back to Church on a regular basis and when the time comes that I get married, I want it to be in the Catholic Church. Likewise, when I have kids, I want to have them baptized and raise them Catholic. She does not believe in God, does NOT want to get married in a Church, and will sure as hell not raise our (potential) future kids Catholic. This poses one hell of a problem for me. But recently, we’ve uncovered a bigger problem, the extent of our political differences. HOLY MOTHER OF ALL HELL is she a friggin’ lib if I’ve ever seen one. Normally I wouldn’t care, but she gets mad if I e-mail something along that is of conservative nature. Like what the mother effing hell? I can’t even express my opinions?

I don’t know folks…maybe this one ain’t goin the distance. I care about her (true story), but we seem to differ on some really serious friggin’ issues. Throw some advice at ol’ Baseball 🙂

[mgoloubenko]

I mean dumping someone that you dont despise requires tack but you need to be honest with her. Explain to her why you feel that you have such differences and how you have doubts about it working. She might honestly feel exactly the same about the prospects of your relationship. You've been with her for two years, you know how to communicate with her

FAR 4/9/12- PASSED
BEC 7/13/12- PASSED
AUD 8/16/12- Ughhh 71, Rematch: 90!!!
REG-12/6/12 PASSED

USC MAcc- Fight on!

They say good things come to those who wait, but only those things that are left by those who hustle.

[Sandra]

Or just start every text with “I'm taking a dump right now, but…” and she will break up with you within a week.

[Anonymous]

Hahahahahahahahahaha I want to Hiya that 500 times

[Anonymous]

I believe the political aspect could work. Loot at Arnold and Maria Shriver….oh I forgot they are divorced. But it wasn't because of their political views. Now as for religion you already now as it has been stated no way.

Now if I was your girlfried I would rather you be honest about it and break up with me now instead of 5 years from now. I can't stand it if a guy already knows where this is going but isn't honest enough it say and wastes both of our times. You both differ on a major issue so it shouldn't be a surprise to her if you tell her the reasons why you don't feel its going to work. Its going to hurt but heartache is a part of life and a part of our experiences. We learn and grow from them as your girlfriend will too.

[mla1169]

Some people are willing to compromise on (or at least overlook) religious differences and have a happy relationship. If it works for them, great.

Some people believe religious and political beliefs are so very fundamental that they are part of the very foundation of a long term relationship. Also great. Sounds like you fall into that camp. So, no it wouldn't work out for you.

Just be kind and honest with her. Let her know that neither of you did anything “wrong” but that your beliefs are so different that there would be a lot of friction once there were kids in the picture and you want to spare both of you a lifetime of bickering over those things.

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[Anonymous]

The top three items that people end up divorced over:

1-Money

2-Religion

3-Inlaws (aka outlaws)

I'm not hearing hate from your side. I likewise have never broken up with a girl, I met my wife when I was 15 and she just stuck. So I don't have a lot of experience in this area…but for you I racked my brain and came up with the following:

1) If you have those people who sell boiled peanuts along side the road where you live, take the girl you are dating (notice I didn't say girlfriend) on a ride one evening. Ask her to get out and get you a bag while you wait in the driver's seat (don't be classless, give her the money to buy the peanuts). As soon as her back is turned and the door is closed, floor it.

2) Go to a sporting event and tip the PA announcer $20 to say the following “[insert the girl you are dating's name here] this is God, baseballcpa believes in me but you are a soul bound for eternal torment and damnation, so he's breaking up with you”. Make sure it is late in the game, just in case it's a good one.

Okay in all seriousness, kids in this mix are a recipe for disaster. I would just sit her down and tell her how you feel about her but explain it out that you are at a stage in your life where you are looking into the future and that this issue is a deal breaker. Give her the old “It's not you, it's God” speech. She might be upset and then again she might be relived to be rid of your sorry santimonious butt! 😀 I think it's the right call.

Oh and stop picking up women from a bar called “the devil's factory' and start girl shopping at Church! 😀

[mla1169]

note to self: do not read posts from CPApending while at work. Giggling at your desk is not a good look for you.

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[futuremdcpa]

hahaha I agree with @mla1169. You made me laugh.

In all seriousness though. I'm catholic/christian.. I've dated girls from different religions, esp. muslim. Now… if you know nothing about their religion is that if they do convert, they will be disowned by their entire effing family. So this means that I would have to convert. Now.. when I was younger 16-19 there was not a care in the world. I've dated muslims, atheists, <insert other religions here>, and didn't really care. I had no plans to marry anyone, just to enjoy my days.

Fast forward a few years 23-24 (now), I am dating a very devout Christian girl, and I am happy about that. We have the same beliefs and all that good stuff. Whether we are happy together (besides the religion) is another story. We have quiet a few issues, and by we I mean her.

Point is, you do what makes you feel right. I plan to stick it out for as long as I can before making up my mind on breaking up/staying with her. I feel the same as you (invested time). I just can't cut my losses.. granted, we have broken up before, but only for a day or so. The last few weeks, the words “i don't wanna be with you anymore” have been lingering on my tongue.. so we will see..

It sucks though, because I know as soon as I say that i'll most likely regret it.. but hey…. lifes a long journey, and im still young.

REG: PASS || BEC: PASS || AUD: PASS || F: SCORE PENDING..

[Anonymous]

I say dump that b1tch and start dating Mogolounkko.. =D

[Anonymous]

Time for a ride and some boiled peanuts futuremdcpa! 😀

[Marivy22]

She might be thinking about the same thing…I guess it is time to talk (I hate the phrase)….

If you are going to keep her around……..because you are too involve, please keep babies out of the picture.

Btw, I agree with Terminator, start dating mgoloubenko 😉

Done 😉
Class of 2012!!!!
Lots of prayers and hard work....

[sarah210]

If you like her, etc. you don't have to rush into breaking up. However, I would have a serious conversation about kids, and your hopes and wishes about them. That will plant the seeds for a breakup, so she won't be totally blindsided.

Also, I don't know how old you guys are, but trust me, it is so much better to dump her now, especially if she wants to have kids in the future, rather than stringing her along until all of a sudden she's 32 and single and starting to realize she needs to meet someone new and get married RIGHT AWAY if she wants to be able to have kids.

REG- 53, 91
BEC- 88
FAR- 62, 85
AUD- 85

Ethics- 93

[thistooshallpass]

I say end it tonight. Suck it up and do it. You said “we have nothing in common”…enough said. Obviously you were attracted to each other thanks to your common goals academically, and probably spent the last 2 years supporting each other in that respect, so good news is no relationship is a waste of time – entirely. But now you are just dragging it out. I understand your points on religion/politics, but let's face it, you are just trying to justify what you FEEL. Being a CPA you probably feel better with concrete reasoning, but my guess is there are many issues and you think these 2 are easiest to explain. My only fear for you is if you don't like breaking up with people and you go to her and say, “well down the road things won't work out because of X”, she may convince you otherwise. Admit to yourself and then to her that you are not happy or confident in this as a long term relationship anymore and move on.

I also agree that in our 20's we are all clueless. I would say I started to figure it out around 28…maybe. Of course I am now stuck in a bad situation, so I figured it out too late. I also happen to believe that if you find the right person, you won't question it. I'm not saying there is a perfect soul mate out there who will make you exuberantly happy every day forever, but I think with the right person, you deal with issues and differences without ever wondering “am I really supposed to be with this person?”.

AUD 85 (2/12) Using Becker
FAR 81 (5/12)
BEC 79 (7/13)
REG 85 (10/1)

"It's not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves."

[mmcgrad1]

Truth be told, she probably shares some of the same concerns you do. I think it's great that your both CPAs and went to school together. However, most couples need to share core beliefs and values. If two people hold strong convictions toward conflicting beliefs it will be problematic raising kids and may be troublesome 5 years down the road if not sooner. I've heard too many stories of one spouse trying to convert the other for years creating tension and sadness. Yes, not all relationships are like that and some turn out with a happy ending.

It seems clear to me, you want to take your belief system (religious and political) seriously as you continue to grow as an individual. This is good and I think all people should do this regardless of beliefs and values. If you intend to live this way, you will need to make sure you can respect your significant other if they wish to do the same based on conflicting values. Additionally, that person must offer you the same respect.

Personally, I think relationships are best formed in combination of friendship. I think one should be able to say their significant other is their best friend. That is what will get couples through the ups and downs of a serious long term relationship. Based on what you've said, maybe Church is exactly the place you might find a person like that.

Maybe you should talk to this girl. Tell her your thoughts about your faith and political views. Explain their importance to you. Tell her you see she seems to have differing views and that you worry this may be a problem. Ask her how she feels about your views and if she respects them. If at the end of the conversation a mutual understanding cannot be met I think the answer to your question is obvious.

The one thing I would be very leery of is either one of you trying to change just to make the other happy. It won't work and the one who changes will be miserable. Ask yourself, would you really want her to change to make you happy? Or would you rather she changed because she wanted to because she believed it was helping her grow as a person? I pose those same questions if you were to decide to change as well.

NIU CPA Review Correspondence is awesome!

I passed all four sections on the first attempt

[Minimorty]

Tell her that you will give up God if she gives up Obama.

You're welcome.

[Author]

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