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This CPA exam is doing some strange things to me…..my nerves are a little on edge. Okay, I am just one raw nerve. I’m just thankful to God that I passed yesterday because had I not, there’s no telling what would have happened! 😀
I live in the trailerhood. Very nice homes $250K homes…..nice yards….mostly nice neighbors…..except for my aging hippie alcoholic neighbors next door and their thirty something live at home worthless sons (also alcoholics who can’t seem to stay out of jail). These morons can’t park in their own garage, wanna know why? Someone ask me why. Okay, never mind I’ll tell you without your asking. Because they have refrigerators filled with alcohol. So as you can imagine, being an open bar, they drag all manner of dui suspects through our neighborhood and never stay inside. If the sons want to have a call with a friend, they have to go outside….and then proceed to yell into their cell phones as if the other person cannot hear them. They also have all manner of foul mouthed drunks dropping by for a couple free beers then its off to the races on the streets. And you guessed it, they all stand outside in their garage or driveway hooping and hollering it up. Generally acting like fools.
Unfortunately our lots are long and rectangular so they are literally 25 feet from my house and to their defense, anything over a normal speaking voice carries. Yet, I’ve had to on more than one occasion yell across the bushes that kids were out and that they need to change their language. I’m not talking about PG rated language, I’m talking the worst of the worst. It’s to the point where my kids don’t like going outside anymore because one or more of them are always outside. I can go outside and occasionally be alone but within 1 to 2 minutes they will be out smoking, talking on the phone, or entertaining the next drunk to drive up.
So today it was the perfect storm. The high of last night was draining out, I was hungry, my butt was tired from sitting in that wooden kitchen chair studying, studying wasn’t really happening well today, fatigue. Then from inside my house I hear the loud booming voice of one of the idiots dui suspects that come over and just yells obscenities that ten houses down can hear—and I heard it inside my house with the doors closed. So I know my kids that were just outside the door could hear it. Then it happened. I am a mild mannered superhero most days but sometimes the dark side of the superhero in me comes out.
Well, I cannot tell you how I got there (I don’t remember) and I can’t tell you exactly what was said. All I can tell you is what my wife told me after the fact. She said that she could have heard me ten houses down and said that I was so mad that my voice was shaking and I was ready to go toe to toe. She said the only analogy she had for it was the WWF on Monday night. Apparently I yelled something about that kids shouldn’t have to listen to that kind of language in their own yard from a bunch of worthless drunks. I asked her what they said and she said that to her knowledge they didn’t say anything but sorry multiple times. I’m 6’4 295 (don’t tell anyone but I wouldn’t generally hurt a fly) but today I just lost it. Fortunately no altercation happened but I will be calling the cops from now on and asking them a) to field sobriety test the drunk and b) to arrest them for using obscenities in the presence of an 8 year old and a 12 year old child.
I know you guys are thinking ‘definite anger management candidate’ but no. I am truly a non-confrontational person but something snapped. I felt like Michael Douglas in that movie Falling Down. You wanna know something, it felt good. For someone who takes it and looks the other way and such, it felt really really good.
Man I have to get this test done quickly! 😀
CPAPending
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