[Anonymous]

I just got off the phone with my best friend (or so I thought..) and I need to vent…

I’ve known her for almost 9yrs now, and we’ve been good friends since. We went to same junior high, highschool, college (different campus) and both majored in Business (though she did Finance, and I did Accounting).

She’s always been competitive with me, and I never cared much about it until she starts to brag. I eventually realized that’s just the way she is, and I ignored her bragging. I mean, who cares if you get 80 and she gets 90? Or if I had a better job than her for two yrs, etc…?

Anyways, we both graduated in December 2010, and she started to work for Boeing. I took classes for 6months at Community college to finish my 5th year to qualify to sit for the exams. I also started to study for CPA, but I didn’t take it seriously…I made lot of mistakes and I learned from them. I had no one to guide me through. I’m not making excuses, but it took me awhile to really understand what CPA is all about.

I received 3 failing scores (though one of them entitled a week of studying and skipping half of the book), before I received two passing scores. I took three months between to travel and enjoy summer, etc…

I know I have been at this for almost a year, and I’m not happy about it. I slack sometimes, and I know I can achieve this if I work hard enough. I never complain about the exam being impossible, and always maintained that, “if a person is willing to work hard for it, s/he can pass all 4 within 6months.”

Today, while I was talking to her…she goes, “a friend mine who passed REG with two months of studying said everyone should be able to pass these exams within few months. So why are you taking so long?” And no, she wasn’t just curious…her tone was harsh/judgmental. I didn’t say anything, and continued to talk for few mins before ending the call. However, I cried after…it broke my heart hearing one of my bff to say that. What a nasty thing to say…

I’m not happy to be studying all the time, I wanna enjoy my life, too…but not everyone can pass it on 1st try. If I don’t care, why should anyone pass a judgement at me? At least, I’m trying to work towards it. I’m not begging anyone for money or support, so if a person can’t support me…why bring me down?

This process has taught me so much, one of them being to find out who my real friends are…

Sorry for the long post, just had to vent…I’ve been feeling miserable.

[misanthrope87]

Trust me, when it comes to girls hating on other girls, it's all about jealousy.

B 2/12 87
A 11/11 90
R 8/11 86
F 5/12 88

[Anonymous]

Maybe jealousy…still can't figure out how/why though. But mla, you are right…so many people I know have a tendancy of showing off their life as very glamours even if they are unhappy with it. For me, it's “you get what you see.” If my life is miserable, I tell 'em, but most of my friends don't do that…They think they are lowering themselves if they are honest about it. Idk, I'll never get that logic.

@kmwgrace: You are right, I should…but I have no intention of doing that anytime soon. I'll wait till she calls, but honestly, I don't want drama.

[JustA75Please]

@kricket, Thank you for an excellent post. I have been thinking about toxic people every since I read your post. You a wise person.

[Anonymous]

@JustA75Please – I'm not wise, just old and have been around the proverbial block a few times! I like to see honest, caring, decent people succeed and the OP was being dealt a ton of grief. That kind of thing brings out the mommy in me and makes me want to smack someone, i.e. the so called friend, upside the head!

@CPA628 – I think the fact that you are helping your parents pay off the house is the most wonderful and selfless thing I have ever heard a child do. You have your head on straight and your “friend” (and I use that term loosely) doesn't. You will go places in this world and be a force for good. You are incredible and I would be honored and proud to call you my friend. Find me on Facebook, Kricket Mitchell.

[hili783]

@CPA628, I can tell you something that would make her unable to even talk about CPA and your own way of studying.

you that as accountants we have the CPA as the most popular / hard designation in our field. For Finance they have the CFA and I think you already know that, so if I were you, I would tell her that at least I passed two parts of the CPA, not like anyone else who can't even start their CFA 😉

the best answer for people who are jealous of you is to accomplish your goal, which would also make them more jealous

FAR -
BEC -
REG -
AUD -

[nebraska]

totally agree that with girls it's always about jealousy….but has anybody else noticed how so many girls turn into psychos once they figure out other people are jealous of them though? in college two of my friends were fighting, and i told one of them that the other one was acting the way she was because she was clearly feeling a little insecure and jealous. i thought that would make her be a little more empathetic and just let it go….but instead she intentionally tried to make this girl more jealous. it was like a power trip or something. and then she started to try to make everyone else around her jealous of her. after that i started noticing this in all the girls in my classes, in my sorority, and now at work. i hope scientists/doctors can one day come up with a way to surgically remove the crazy b!tch part of our brains…i hate it so much.

REG (08/2011) - 73 (2/2012) - 72
AUD (08/2011) - 73 (1/2012) - 86
FAR (11/2011) - 79
BEC (11/2011) - 79

[Anonymous]

People say things that hurt all the time. Most of the time, they are not intended to hurt feelings; usually just the inabiltiy to empathize with your situation and how you might react to their comment.

Rather than getting upset at your friend, you should be honest and say, ” that was a pretty low comment that really hurt my feelings. Although some people pass this on their first try, others' don't. I would appreciate your support.”

I gaurantee that she will probably retract her previous statment and use more tact in future conversations.

No reason to get upset at others' comments (perspectives).

[Anonymous]

@Kricket: I'm adding you on FB!! That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard! My parents are amazing, and they have done soo much for me…so helping them is nothing compared to what they have done for me!!

@hili783: Haha true! She's earning good $$ right now, so I doubt she'd wanna start CFA. Even if she did, she would pass! She's smart so that's why her being jealous of me is hard to digest, let alone believe!

@nebraska: I agree w/ you….haha oh us girls!

@dmtilton: True! But I don't have energy right now to defend myself. I'm just gonna let things cool off and see what happens!

[Anonymous]

@Kricket: I can't find you:( Can you e-mail me your fb page on livelyriya@hotmail.com

[mgoloubenko]

@CPA628: Your situation sounds a great deal like something I experienced this past year. I was best friends with a girl all through college and we were very close but I always felt like she was competing with me while I didn't really feel any need for it, she apparently did. We were in this kind of twisted friendship without even realizing it because she was class president, I was vice president early on in college and this type of dynamic carried forth through college except we would kind of switch who was up and who was down. What ended up happening was the advances I made in my career and life ended up ruining out friends. I ended up getting a job at a Big 4 and she didn't have as many career options with her marketing background. I ended up getting into a Master's program across the country while she stayed at our undergrad to get an MBA even though our MBA program is like…210 in the nation. She became really judgmental of things during our last year of friendship and I think it was just these underlying factors. She had a boyfriend and would always put me down with comments like….”Well you wouldn't understand it…because you're single.” Basically, what I'm saying is if you notice this dynamic try to talk to your friend and if nothing improves move on and do you. I cut ties, deleted her & her boyfriend off of Facebook and went on to live my life without feeling her judgments!

FAR 4/9/12- PASSED
BEC 7/13/12- PASSED
AUD 8/16/12- Ughhh 71, Rematch: 90!!!
REG-12/6/12 PASSED

USC MAcc- Fight on!

They say good things come to those who wait, but only those things that are left by those who hustle.

[Anonymous]

You are def. better off than her…good for you:!) I'll try to talk to her once everything cools down! And what….you are single? I'm sure many guys on this forum will be happy:) Lol jk

Good Luck w/ FAR!

[Anonymous]

@mg — glad to hear you're single…I'm lookin to trade up! haha jk

[Anonymous]

HAHA @baseball

[Anonymous]

Haha, I'm always the smooth talker 🙂

[mgoloubenko]

@ BaseballCPA, by single I mean I'm in a committed relationship with the CPA but I'm hoping it's over sooner rather that later 😉

FAR 4/9/12- PASSED
BEC 7/13/12- PASSED
AUD 8/16/12- Ughhh 71, Rematch: 90!!!
REG-12/6/12 PASSED

USC MAcc- Fight on!

They say good things come to those who wait, but only those things that are left by those who hustle.

[Author]

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