[Anonymous]

I just got off the phone with my best friend (or so I thought..) and I need to vent…

I’ve known her for almost 9yrs now, and we’ve been good friends since. We went to same junior high, highschool, college (different campus) and both majored in Business (though she did Finance, and I did Accounting).

She’s always been competitive with me, and I never cared much about it until she starts to brag. I eventually realized that’s just the way she is, and I ignored her bragging. I mean, who cares if you get 80 and she gets 90? Or if I had a better job than her for two yrs, etc…?

Anyways, we both graduated in December 2010, and she started to work for Boeing. I took classes for 6months at Community college to finish my 5th year to qualify to sit for the exams. I also started to study for CPA, but I didn’t take it seriously…I made lot of mistakes and I learned from them. I had no one to guide me through. I’m not making excuses, but it took me awhile to really understand what CPA is all about.

I received 3 failing scores (though one of them entitled a week of studying and skipping half of the book), before I received two passing scores. I took three months between to travel and enjoy summer, etc…

I know I have been at this for almost a year, and I’m not happy about it. I slack sometimes, and I know I can achieve this if I work hard enough. I never complain about the exam being impossible, and always maintained that, “if a person is willing to work hard for it, s/he can pass all 4 within 6months.”

Today, while I was talking to her…she goes, “a friend mine who passed REG with two months of studying said everyone should be able to pass these exams within few months. So why are you taking so long?” And no, she wasn’t just curious…her tone was harsh/judgmental. I didn’t say anything, and continued to talk for few mins before ending the call. However, I cried after…it broke my heart hearing one of my bff to say that. What a nasty thing to say…

I’m not happy to be studying all the time, I wanna enjoy my life, too…but not everyone can pass it on 1st try. If I don’t care, why should anyone pass a judgement at me? At least, I’m trying to work towards it. I’m not begging anyone for money or support, so if a person can’t support me…why bring me down?

This process has taught me so much, one of them being to find out who my real friends are…

Sorry for the long post, just had to vent…I’ve been feeling miserable.

[mla1169]

Dare her to pass all 4 before you do since it sounds easy enough to her. She sounds jealous of something about you!

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[Anonymous]

Thanks @mla.

She's doing so well for herself, and I'm so happy for her…I don't know why she would ever be jealous. It's just a sad situation:( It's okay, it's forcing me study harder….

[nebraska]

sorry, didn't mean to hi-ya your post. nothing hi-ya worthy about it! thank you for venting on here because i'm totally going through a similar situation, and while i'm not glad you're going through it, i'm at least glad i'm not alone. i feel like as this train ride from hell goes on longer, the less supportive everyone is around me. you know, i don't need a bunch of cheerleaders around me, but i just wish everyone hadn't completely run out of patience with me. it sucks.

REG (08/2011) - 73 (2/2012) - 72
AUD (08/2011) - 73 (1/2012) - 86
FAR (11/2011) - 79
BEC (11/2011) - 79

[KasiaS]

Don't let her commentary bother you. Something I quickly learned throughout my CPA stint is that this is when you learn who your real friends are – those that can understand that you can't go out on a whim and your time and nerves may be in short supply. Perhaps that's her untactful way of trying to motivate you to pass this exam already or maybe she's emotionally blunted or jealous. Whatever her reason, this girl doesn't sound like she can genuinely add value to your life – move on, focus on yourself and your studies and maybe one day you'll reconcile and she'll give you some sort of explanation or apology for this conversation.

In the meantime, you can always count on your cyber CPA family to help and understand what you're going through. I know it's not the same as a best friend, but I can speak from experience that sometimes A71 is the only place to turn in the midst of your CPA journey (sometimes even when it's over).

FAR 88 (07/15/11)
BEC 83 (08/31/11)
AUD 81 (10/15/11)
REG 83 (11/26/11)

Used NIU Correspondence CPA Review

[jenuno01]

@Kasia very well said!

I think your friend is being a hater because she only graduated with a Finance degree and has little or no room to add on credentials…basically, she realizes you are better off than her and she is a long way from competing with you; and thus, feeling powerless, figures the only way to put you down is by making snobby comments in hopes of dissuading you from your goal of becomming a CPA. Don't let her get to you, you are on a way higher level than she will ever be.

Class of 2012

[Anonymous]

Thank you, guys!!

I really appreciate what you all have said and I feel better that I'm not the only one feeling this way.

@nebraska: I'm sorry you are going through this as well. It sucks. I completely agree with you about “not wanting cheerleaders.” I'm not looking for cheerleaders or someone to hold my hand and baby me…but at least don't put me down. Hang in there, we will get this done!!

@KasiaS: Thank you! See, I wouldn't be too mad if people like you (who have passed these exams in short time while working full time) pass judgement/advice at me…b/c you've been through that. People like my friend who has no idea what this is about pass comments just makes me miserable. If this is her way of making me study harder, it's a sad attempt…and I don't think that's her intent. I know she wants me to be done and start working, but what's right for her doesn't make it right for me. For now, I'm just gonna avoid her…I don't need negative energy in my life right now. I'm studying FAR and its doing an awesome in making me cry, don't need her…lol

Thanks again!:) You guys rock!

[Anonymous]

@CPA628 Glad you're using it to motivate you. Like KasiaS said, perhaps she meant it to motivate you, to be vicious, and/or is just plain tactless. Who knows? This has also tested my relationships and I've lost plenty of “friends” over the past months. It comes down to one thing: we're due for an upgrade 🙂

[Anonymous]

@jenuno01: Thank you:) You are too sweet! I know she's smart, she has a great job and is making good money…I don't know why she would be jealous! I'm happy for her and I hope she achieves more!

I just can't wait to be done and have three letters behind my name. I'm not even thinking about money or success but just the feeling of doing something that I'll be proud of! Wish everyone thought like that and didn't judge others…

@AlmondCoins: Haha we are!! I wish I personally knew some of A71 peeps, life would be much smoother…I know three people studying for CPAs and we're all struggling, but working hard towards our goal! I just wish my friend knew them as well so she would stop thinking that I'm the only one having hard time with this.

[jeff]

A finance major talking smack? lol.

Jeff Elliott, CPA (KS) | Another71 | NINJA CPA | NINJA CMA | NINJA CPE

[sandy]

You should be more determined to pass the exam and show it to your friend. Even the so called friends can't take it when you try to come up in life. Trust me, I have experienced first hand at work places. Keep studying for the exam, you will definitely pass.

Best wishes

[Anonymous]

This is just my .02 worth and I'm not wanting to start drama between you and your friend, but it sounds like she is starting enough of it on her own. I have two older sisters and we are all very close in age, the older two are 10 months apart and the middle one and I are 16 months apart. To say there is some sibling rivalry is the understatement of the year. I have always been the smart one. I have a college degree, they don't. I have money in the bank and an IRA, they don't. I work for what I get, they put it on credit cards and then file bankruptcy. They are always putting me down for the way I live. I do not drive a fancy car, 2006 Saturn (clear title, we paid cash for it), my husband's mother gave us her half interest in his great-grandfathers house before we got married and we paid for the other half, $15,000, in six months. It's an old house, built in 1920, but I don't have a mortgage payment. We don't live a grand life. We may not have what my sisters consider important, but it's ours and it's paid for, which is a priority to us. My sisters, on the other hand, are always showing off new cars, new furniture, new jewelry, that kind of stuff. I have finally learned, took me 40 years, that sometimes people can be toxic and you just have to distance yourself. It's not that I don't love my family, I do, but I can't be around them very much. I have friends here at home who think like me, have the same goals as me and are supportive of me through out this process. I also have people on this forum that I would walk through fire for because they support me when I need it, call me on my BS when I'm being lazy, and genuinely have my best interest at heart. If I had listened to my family I would have quit 2 years ago. But I didn't! Jeff is my hero! He has always been there no matter what. I've never seen him in person but I'd give him a kidney if he needed it. Minimorty told me a few weeks ago that I was “spending too much time on the message board when I should have been studying”. He didn't say it out of meanness, he was trying to help me and guide me in the right direction. I appreciate him for that. BaseballCPA told me to stop putting myself down and he was right. Sometimes a slap in the face with a reality stick is what I need. JoMarie and I spent just about every night for the past month on facebook saying “Are we studying tonight?”, “How many questions did you get through?”, that kind of thing and it really helped me! She was my rock! The point I am trying to make, in this rambling post, is that this person doesn't sound like much a friend. Real friends don't treat you like that no matter how long you have known them. This person's attitude is toxic to you and your goal of becoming a CPA. If you are always comparing yourself to someone else you will always fall behind what YOU are capable of. In my opinion, distance from this person is a good thing so that YOU can shine! Good Luck!

[KasiaS]

@CPA628, I think you're taking the right approach to this situation – don't ever let another person's put downs bring your resolve down. When I was beginning my studies last year, a coworker of mine (nonCPA) asked me what I'm going to do when I fail. Not if, WHEN. I ignored his comment and made it my resolve to prove a**holes like him wrong – and I did. I'd be damned if I let him insult me that way – he was probably envious that I am half his age with higher credentials.

Just one aside, the fact that I passed all four sections in a short time in no way entitles me to pass judgment on you or anyone else on this forum. Not everyone goes through this the same way – some people are marathoners and others sprinters. I will, however, happily dole out advice and tips as other CPA veterans do.

Look at all the support you've gotten in this thread alone – Kircket gave the perfect example – you can count on us and your so-called friend can go jump in a lake. 🙂

FAR 88 (07/15/11)
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AUD 81 (10/15/11)
REG 83 (11/26/11)

Used NIU Correspondence CPA Review

[Anonymous]

@Sandy: You are right! I'm determined to pass, but not b/c of her…I want to do it for me! When I started out with this process, all I knew was that CPA sounds awesome…sounds smart…and I'll make money. But now, it's a whole different perspective. It's one of the hardest thing I have done and I want to pass to show myself that nothing is impossible if I work for it. Thank you for kind words, I'm def. gonna keep studying, no matter what anyone says!

@Kricket: You are amazing, let me just say that:) Your sisters are just rude, I can't imagine being nasty to someone like you. You are sweet and hard worker! It's funny that you mention about living simply. My friend (the one I'm talking about in OP) has always made a snarly comments about the way I live. I don't party much and don't believe in buying $50 jeans or $500 coach. Instead I like to help my parents to pay off our house…I have done that since I started working at 16. I'll be 23 in June. I don't think it's a big deal to help your parents and never brag about it. I don't pass any comments at her for being materialistic, as everyone is different. But she has always done that…now, I just find it amusing.

I hope you get those two passing scores and show your sisters how awesome you are….not that you haven't already done that:) Once again, thank you for taking your time to write such a thoughtful message. I really really appreciate it. I never thought I would receive so much support on this forum, it's great:)

@KasiaS: I hate when non-CPA pass comments…they have no idea what this process entails, and they should just shut up:). I'm glad you passed them all on the first try and proved him wrong. Yes, stay around and spread your wisdom:)

@Jeff: I can't thank you enough for this forum. I would've gone crazy and maybe gave up CPA if it weren't for all the supporters here! You rock:!)

[kmwgrace]

Have you ever tried talking to her about her competitive nature? Saying something like, you know, Sally, I always try to be supportive of you and I'm really happy for you when good things happen in your life. I feel like you try to bring me down sometimes, instead of offering me that same support… toss it out there, see what she says. Maybe she doesn't even realize how she's making you feel…?

~ Kate... MTX!
CPA exam on hold while I homeschool my 6 year old!

[mla1169]

Just remember your friend can appear to have an incredible life to you but not be satisfied with herself. People used to think I had a great life but I never thought so because something was just “missing” until I did this. I still say jealousy.

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[Author]

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