Need Opinions on Coworker Drama - Page 3

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    Topic
  • #183794
    MustPass1988
    Member

    So I’ve worked at this company for a couple of years and pretty much the whole time, my coworker has treated me as though he’s threatened by me. I’ve caught him talking about me to my manager over things that he blew out of proportion (like for example he tried to schedule a meeting during lunchtime and I said that I was unavailable because I always go to a yoga class during that time and he forwarded the email to my manager saying that this was “typical behavior from me” and that I was always unavailable which is completely untrue ). He micromanages me to the point where he makes me send him drafts of my emails before I send them out to people. Keep in mind, he is NOT my manager in any way, just my coworker. There have actually been several remediations between he and I and my manager but my manager has actually said “I would go to the end of the earth for [coworker]” so he doesn’t do anything about it. My manager constantly tells me that he sees how my coworker treats me and that he’s actually extremely frustrated with him about it, but then doesn’t do anything. The thing that really frustrates me is that my manager tells my coworker everything. I was having health issues and they thought I had a hernia and I needed to go get an ultrasound and I told my manager this, and got an email from my coworker later that day saying “I hope you feel better, I heard that you were having some stomach problems”. So present day: I was offered a job opportunity internally within a different department. I found out on Monday from my manager and then discovered that he told 3 of my coworkers on Friday before even telling me. I was having coworkers asking me about it before I even had a job description or decided to apply! A week later, I decided to apply for it and told my manager beforehand who assured me that he would not tell any coworkers until it was “official”. Two hours later, I got an email from this coworker saying “I’ve heard some news about you, can we have a meeting to discuss this?” I ignored him and then went to my manager and said “you told me that you weren’t going to tell [coworker] until it was official…” and he turned bright red, mumbled something, and then grabbed his phone and went into a conference room to call the coworker. Now, hardly anyone in my department is talking to me, (my manager hasn’t said one word to me today) and I scheduled a meeting with the VP of my group to let him know why I decided to apply for this position. I want to let him know that I’m unhappy about the fact that everyone in the department knew about this opportunity before I did and the way that my manager and coworker talk about me. Any suggestions for ways to bring it up?

    AUD: PASSED [81]; Expired, retaking August 23rd
    BEC: PASSED [83]; Expired, retaking July 11th
    REG: PASSED [83]
    FAR: FAILED [64]; Retaking May 23rd

Viewing 15 replies - 31 through 45 (of 70 total)
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  • #517133
    Mathgirl7
    Member

    The problem isn't the coworker it is that you have a terrible manager. Move on to the new opportunity and don't engage in the drama. Also a coworker can't demand to proofread your work.

    AUD - 2/1/2014 - 92
    BEC - 2/8/2014 - 79
    REG - 5/17/2014
    FAR - 5/21/2014

    CA Ethics Exam - Passed

    #517102
    Mathgirl7
    Member

    The problem isn't the coworker it is that you have a terrible manager. Move on to the new opportunity and don't engage in the drama. Also a coworker can't demand to proofread your work.

    AUD - 2/1/2014 - 92
    BEC - 2/8/2014 - 79
    REG - 5/17/2014
    FAR - 5/21/2014

    CA Ethics Exam - Passed

    #517135
    san4596
    Member

    MustPass – I pray you get the new job, and would love to hear the conlusion to your story.

    CPA EXAM: DONE!!!!
    Ethics Course: Passed
    Application Mailed: 3/16/15
    Professional Conduct Exam: 97
    Certification Date: 4/2/15!!!

    #517104
    san4596
    Member

    MustPass – I pray you get the new job, and would love to hear the conlusion to your story.

    CPA EXAM: DONE!!!!
    Ethics Course: Passed
    Application Mailed: 3/16/15
    Professional Conduct Exam: 97
    Certification Date: 4/2/15!!!

    #517137
    mla1169
    Participant

    I agree it's the manager not the coworker that is the problem. If I were you I'd mention to the VP that if there is a confidentiality policy it is nor being followed, and if not you'd be happy to help create one. (Never bring up a problem without being prepared with a solution). Chances are the VP is well aware of loose lips.

    And honestly I'd never tell anyone I had a yoga class. None of their business. Say you've already got an appointment and leave it at that. Otherwise you're fueling a fire unnecessarily. Same goes for allowing a peer to review your emails. Unless your boss told you to do it you're condoning it by being complicit.

    FAR- 77
    AUD -49, 71, 84
    REG -56,75!
    BEC -75

    Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

    #517106
    mla1169
    Participant

    I agree it's the manager not the coworker that is the problem. If I were you I'd mention to the VP that if there is a confidentiality policy it is nor being followed, and if not you'd be happy to help create one. (Never bring up a problem without being prepared with a solution). Chances are the VP is well aware of loose lips.

    And honestly I'd never tell anyone I had a yoga class. None of their business. Say you've already got an appointment and leave it at that. Otherwise you're fueling a fire unnecessarily. Same goes for allowing a peer to review your emails. Unless your boss told you to do it you're condoning it by being complicit.

    FAR- 77
    AUD -49, 71, 84
    REG -56,75!
    BEC -75

    Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

    #517139
    noleguy
    Member

    I'd say both are the problem. The coworker for crossing the line, and the supervisor for allowing it to happen. Regardless, if the supervisor has shown that he will not “resolve the issue”, you are really behind the 8-ball.

    #517108
    noleguy
    Member

    I'd say both are the problem. The coworker for crossing the line, and the supervisor for allowing it to happen. Regardless, if the supervisor has shown that he will not “resolve the issue”, you are really behind the 8-ball.

    #517141
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I say move on, don't tell them why you are leaving except that you just want to see if the other department is a better fit for you. I will add that I have an employee with a power trip that has been addressed on numerous occassions. It may appear as if I do not do anything because I don't discuss those conversations with my other employees, but it has prevented her from getting comparable raises and from being promotable. However, she is good at her job and that outweighs personality IMO. I will tell you what I tell my other employees–do not give your coworker power over you. If you allow them to bully you they will continue the behavior. Your manager could talk to them until they are blue in the face, but the manager cannot control the situation when you are going to them to have your emails proofread. Those should go to your manager and not your coworker. If your manager won't proofread them then send them out yourself without having them proofread. If you are a good employee without drama on your track record it will shine through to the people that matter. Your boss doesn't sound like someone that matters very much because the conversations he has with the employees about other employees is inappropriate and unacceptable.

    #517110
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I say move on, don't tell them why you are leaving except that you just want to see if the other department is a better fit for you. I will add that I have an employee with a power trip that has been addressed on numerous occassions. It may appear as if I do not do anything because I don't discuss those conversations with my other employees, but it has prevented her from getting comparable raises and from being promotable. However, she is good at her job and that outweighs personality IMO. I will tell you what I tell my other employees–do not give your coworker power over you. If you allow them to bully you they will continue the behavior. Your manager could talk to them until they are blue in the face, but the manager cannot control the situation when you are going to them to have your emails proofread. Those should go to your manager and not your coworker. If your manager won't proofread them then send them out yourself without having them proofread. If you are a good employee without drama on your track record it will shine through to the people that matter. Your boss doesn't sound like someone that matters very much because the conversations he has with the employees about other employees is inappropriate and unacceptable.

    #517143
    fsugirl2005
    Participant

    OP,

    Chances are your co-worker is a mole. He probably reports on everyone because he's a gullible fool who chooses to be used and gets off on being used. And yes, you have a terrible manager too.

    I hope the other department is a lot different but I'm not so sure considering it's under the same company. I say, be looking for other opportunities at a new company. And if you do interview somewhere else, make sure you ask about their confidentiality policy and their open door policy. I would even consider asking them about their no-drama policy.

    AUD - 10/21/16 (75----07/2010 expired)
    FAR - 10/28/16
    BEC - 11/2016
    REG - 01/2017

    Using Gleim CPA Review, Ninja Audio, Ninja Book

    #517112
    fsugirl2005
    Participant

    OP,

    Chances are your co-worker is a mole. He probably reports on everyone because he's a gullible fool who chooses to be used and gets off on being used. And yes, you have a terrible manager too.

    I hope the other department is a lot different but I'm not so sure considering it's under the same company. I say, be looking for other opportunities at a new company. And if you do interview somewhere else, make sure you ask about their confidentiality policy and their open door policy. I would even consider asking them about their no-drama policy.

    AUD - 10/21/16 (75----07/2010 expired)
    FAR - 10/28/16
    BEC - 11/2016
    REG - 01/2017

    Using Gleim CPA Review, Ninja Audio, Ninja Book

    #517145
    noleguy
    Member

    I agree with some of the comments about retaining your power; I guess having been in a situation or two that is similar, the problem is never your individual power as the co-worker. I find that in those instances, the “problem child” gets an additional “power boost”, by having someone superior to both of you on his side.

    #517114
    noleguy
    Member

    I agree with some of the comments about retaining your power; I guess having been in a situation or two that is similar, the problem is never your individual power as the co-worker. I find that in those instances, the “problem child” gets an additional “power boost”, by having someone superior to both of you on his side.

    #517116
    samdiegoCPA
    Member

    As everyone else said… althought it's hard for me to “smile and bear it” when it comes to anything, in this situation, I wouldn't bring it up to the VP. There is nothing to benefit from it. I always ask myself “Will this benefit me in ANY way if I do this?” when it comes to things like this… and the answer is usually no, sadly 😉 It will make you feel better in the short term, but if you stoop to their level, you are just as bad as them.

    AUD: 84
    REG: 84
    BEC: 79
    FAR: 83

Viewing 15 replies - 31 through 45 (of 70 total)
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