[Yu0601]

Hi Everyone

I was wondering if anyone can share experiences of trying to study for the CPA exam while struggling with Depression, and while dealing with a horrible boss at work. I am a 29 year old female who work in the Tax dept. of a Big 4 firm and just started the CPA journey, I am scheduled to take FAR in February 2018. My depression was the result of a verbally abusive Partner who constantly screamed and berated me over a non-work related issues (sometimes in public coffee shops) over several months. Until having this person as my boss my work was going well but after that incident I developed physical illness, took a couple months off, and am back to work now while on anti-depressants. The company gave no real consequences for what he did for this Partner other than a “word of caution”, and being in the toxic office environment itself is making me depressed. Trying to study while working in this toxic environment is very challenging.

I cannot quit this company, due to financial reasons, and don’t have any family support emotional or financial. I thought the CPA would help me increase future options, perhaps in another company, and really want to obtain the License. Does anyone have any advice with dealing with such a situation?? I had done well in Accounting while in college, the problem is not the CPA materials itself but trying to take the exam while with Depression and having too much stress at work … Would really appreciate any advice as I am really struggling.

[Earla Riopel (NYCARE)]

@Yu0601, you're not alone. Make sure though, before you leave, you have another job to go to. Believe it or not, ‘horrible bosses' are encouraged by some firms/companies. The reason why, they pushed their subordinates to produce the maximum productivity for a minimum wage.

I know someone who works 45-60 a week for $37k-40k Canadian dollars, as a manager, without getting paid overtime. Though they don't allow her to take over-time, but they expect her to do all the things that require more than 40 hours a week to do it properly. She's good of what she does, the reason she is still working there. She's a people person, as well.

Also, she can't quit. She needed the job badly, because 75% of her net pay goes towards paying her housing & tuition. She's on her last year of university. She works full-time, and study full-time. She doesn't have much of social life, except some friends, and visiting her very supportive parents & siblings.

I was in your situation a few times. I just moved on. Took an inventory of what I have, personally & career wise, and made something of them. My family is very supportive, and had a few lucky charms lately.

@Yu0601, move on. Cut your losses, you only got one life to live. Even a 55yrs old can be gone in a second. Take care of your health, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

You're going to be a CPA soon. Think of your future.
Work as a CPA -> work for a while -> find someone -> get married -> raise 2-3 kids -> save for retirement -> enjoy life with your spouse for the rest of your lives. And have a happy ending!:)

[TommyTheCat]

so you thought it would be a good idea to chime in on a thread about someone who is struggling at work and dealing with health issues and say that you would bet money they aren't white because of their struggles at work?

You definitely think you are a lot smarter than you actually come off to your peers on this forum.

[Anonymous]

Well this is an anonymous discussion board. Usually what people do is discuss. Then there are those like yourself who complain when you don't agree with an opinion that's different than yours. You don't have to call out every single time you disagree about something. Learn to agree to disagree and move on with your life, that's what adults do.

[Anonymous]

Also we can create a separate thread, but look at the data. If this particular situation happened as the exception, think about the other way around as far as the favoritism and bias in the workplace. It's really not that difficult to make the connection unless you are in complete denial.

https://datausa.io/profile/soc/132011/#demographics

[Juice23]

Adults do not say things like, “I would place money down and bet that you aren't white.” So patronizing. If you want to talk about this make a separate thread and show some respect.

[Anonymous]

I've shown respect by providing plenty of advice and feedback, yet no comments on that from those of you complaining now. Sorry you are offended. I could have just asked if OP thought it was racially motivated. Instead I provided an opinion and supported it with data to back it up that happens to be related to the topic of “toxic and unprofessional work environments”.

So are you complaining about the way I brought it up or about the opinion itself? Either way, try looking at the data and let it sink in before getting so easily offended.

[M123]

@Yu0601, congrats on moving forward with getting abstracted from that individual.

You've received some great advice amidst the noise ratio.

A couple things I would suggest:

– Have you read much about assertiveness? It doesn't prevent problems with inappropriate people but can deliver the best outcome (which is not always great but you maintain integrity). (reference image below).

– Do you have a counselor? With meds for depression – being able to talk it out with a professional may help you process your feelings and possibly help with course of action and also compartmentalizing so that you're not distracted in study.

– The old saying of “keep your friends close, enemies closer” has some truth. Learning to look them in the eye and greet assertively may be empowering for you to overcome the feeling of repulsion and feel control. Kill them with kindness is not just be agreeable or pacifist.

– As far as studying – I did most of mine (and certainly the best quality) in the AM before work. Made all the difference in the world.

[TommyTheCat]

Brick – there you go again trying to spin things up, brick gonna be brick.

I'm just sitting back and eating popcorn and watching the silly things dribble out from your mind to your keyboard to this wonderful forum.

[ellejay]

I have depression, and it is very difficult to keep motivation when you feel sad all the time. So I get you there. However, I do not at this time have a toxic boss. Does this person have the power to make employment decisions, aka could they fire you if they wanted to? Or does the HR or other colleagues have your back? If you feel confident he will not be able to get rid of you, I would just try my best to stay away from him. Know that it is him, not you. Some people become hostile and toxic people because they are jealous, or hate their path in life – and the people they inflict with pain are just collateral damage. If it were me, I would be getting the ball rolling on transferring out, even if it takes a year. That would at least give me something to look forward to, and I don't care how much I would be getting paid – you can't put a price on being verbally and emotionally abused at work. I tried very hard to keep a job with a toxic boss, and I lived with it for 3 and a half years. I ended up getting fired over something stupid I didn't do, and wished that I had quit years ago to take advantage of other opportunities. I felt like I wasted a lot of time for nothing because I can't even use that job as a reference either.

[Missy]

Well,since these incidents happened outside the US let's just dismiss the us data link.

Sometimes people are just jerks. It's not calculated or contrived, it just is. Are there more people who have ego problems because they're CPA's? Probably.

Sorry the OP is in such a vulnerable position living abroad, little support, and a bully. Maybe seek a life coach, there's even some online. What you need MOST is to get your self esteem back and know above all else you're a rock star.

Licensed Massachusetts Non Reporting CPA since 2012
Finance/Admin/HR Manager

[steven]

OP, I've been in a similar situation – trying to accomplish a major life goal such as the getting a CPA license is hard, no two ways about it, trying to do it while dealing with depression is Everest. But, trust in yourself. You know in your heart you can do this!

I've had that very isolated feeling before, especially when I studied abroad in college and had some health issues as a young adult. Studying for the exams is isolating too – you can lose momentum in other areas of your personal life.

When I've battled depression before, learning about cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) helped me a lot. It can teach you coping skills – life is hard and most of us aren't equipped to deal with everything it throws at us – it takes practice. Learn about CBT, exercise, do some yoga, learn mindfulness meditation. Find things that fill your heart & take care of yourself.

Wishing you the best,

[Author]

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