Need advice: My wife will not let me take an offer in public accounting! - Page 3

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  • #182437
    SFLocal
    Participant

    I need some advice. I received an offer for a local accounting firm, but I had to turn it down because my wife does not support my taking the offer. Accepting the offer entails a paycut, but I would easily make it up in 2 years. I received a promotion and a $15K raise in my current job that is unrelated to accounting. I was in school before we got married, so this career path was not coming out of nowhere.

    How would you convince your spouse to support your decision?

    BEC - Passed!
    REG - Passed!
    AUD - Passed!
    FAR - Passed!

Viewing 15 replies - 31 through 45 (of 66 total)
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  • #500626
    SFLocal
    Participant

    Money for bills is not the issue since we both make decent incomes. Neither of us need to ask each other for money. The offer was $57K with a very good firm, in my opinion. The audit partners even pointed me to areas in IT audit that would leverage my skills and be able to earn more after I get the initial audit experience.

    My wife's perception is that people take job offers for more money, not less. I explained that my current job at my current company is a dead end career and growth wise.

    I will look for Sr. Analyst positions until next June. If I can not get an offer that will allow me to get a license sign-off at a pay level acceptable to her, I will revisit this discussion with my wife.

    BEC - Passed!
    REG - Passed!
    AUD - Passed!
    FAR - Passed!

    #500557
    SFLocal
    Participant

    Money for bills is not the issue since we both make decent incomes. Neither of us need to ask each other for money. The offer was $57K with a very good firm, in my opinion. The audit partners even pointed me to areas in IT audit that would leverage my skills and be able to earn more after I get the initial audit experience.

    My wife's perception is that people take job offers for more money, not less. I explained that my current job at my current company is a dead end career and growth wise.

    I will look for Sr. Analyst positions until next June. If I can not get an offer that will allow me to get a license sign-off at a pay level acceptable to her, I will revisit this discussion with my wife.

    BEC - Passed!
    REG - Passed!
    AUD - Passed!
    FAR - Passed!

    #500628
    gt5717b
    Participant

    gt5717b: You want my advice?

    SFLocal: Yes, please!

    gt5717b: You're not gonna like it.

    SFLocal: That's okay.

    gt5717b: You got married too fast.

    SFLocal: That's not advice!

    gt5717b: I told ya.

    REG - 89
    FAR - 84
    AUD - 73, 86
    BEC - 89

    GA Licensed CPA

    #500559
    gt5717b
    Participant

    gt5717b: You want my advice?

    SFLocal: Yes, please!

    gt5717b: You're not gonna like it.

    SFLocal: That's okay.

    gt5717b: You got married too fast.

    SFLocal: That's not advice!

    gt5717b: I told ya.

    REG - 89
    FAR - 84
    AUD - 73, 86
    BEC - 89

    GA Licensed CPA

    #500630

    Wife not happy = You not happy

    The Bad: Public accounting was stressful on our marriage. My wife supported me when we started, but the promised “work/life balance” was not there. Billable hours and poor project budgeting made it a miserable experience.

    The Good: With a CPA license, I will have the tools to start my own practice. (which I am considering)

    I would really ask about the work ethics of management and the coworkers.

    How much time do they spend with their families?

    It is hard to leave early when everybody else is grinding away.

    How much do they stress billable hours?

    60+ hours a week with 95% billable is stressful.

    One of my mangers worked 80 hours a week and would jog to and from the bathroom, lunch… I know it does not have to be that way; it really depends on the management.

    CPA firms know that this is a problem, so they will tout “work/life balance” and “work hard, play hard.” BUT………Two drink tickets after 8 weeks of 65 hour work weeks is not “work hard, play hard.” LOL

    Licensed Texas CPA

    #500561

    Wife not happy = You not happy

    The Bad: Public accounting was stressful on our marriage. My wife supported me when we started, but the promised “work/life balance” was not there. Billable hours and poor project budgeting made it a miserable experience.

    The Good: With a CPA license, I will have the tools to start my own practice. (which I am considering)

    I would really ask about the work ethics of management and the coworkers.

    How much time do they spend with their families?

    It is hard to leave early when everybody else is grinding away.

    How much do they stress billable hours?

    60+ hours a week with 95% billable is stressful.

    One of my mangers worked 80 hours a week and would jog to and from the bathroom, lunch… I know it does not have to be that way; it really depends on the management.

    CPA firms know that this is a problem, so they will tout “work/life balance” and “work hard, play hard.” BUT………Two drink tickets after 8 weeks of 65 hour work weeks is not “work hard, play hard.” LOL

    Licensed Texas CPA

    #500632
    kplummer517
    Member

    I left public accounting 5 months ago, if you have a family it sucks, no matter what they tell you. During busy season you are looking at 60-65 hours a week, at least. You will need to be able to travel, stay over night, home late for family, etc. The partners except a lot out of the staff, be there at a drop of a dime, as seniors and managers you are expected to meet billable goals and stay in budgets! I HATED and I mean HATED tracking my every 6 min of the day, billable hours vs non billable. I'm so glad to be at a bank now that Billable hours is non exsistant! I also like working 8-5 again. I'm a credit analyst now and even though a CPA isn't required, I'm doing it anyway just to satisfy my own goal, and maybe be the CFO or Controller one day.

    Now you know what is best for you family, I'm just giving my opinion of public accounting from my own experience…and it wasn't that great.

    AUD - Passed - 82 (10/1/13), Expires 4/1/2015 (57,62,64)
    BEC - Passed - 77 (7/14/14) (53,67,70,74) Half way to CPA!!!!
    REG - Passed - 81 (8/23/14) (68) 3 down 1 to go!!
    FAR - Passed - 75 (11/11/14) I'm DONE!!!!!

    Illinois Canidate

    #500563
    kplummer517
    Member

    I left public accounting 5 months ago, if you have a family it sucks, no matter what they tell you. During busy season you are looking at 60-65 hours a week, at least. You will need to be able to travel, stay over night, home late for family, etc. The partners except a lot out of the staff, be there at a drop of a dime, as seniors and managers you are expected to meet billable goals and stay in budgets! I HATED and I mean HATED tracking my every 6 min of the day, billable hours vs non billable. I'm so glad to be at a bank now that Billable hours is non exsistant! I also like working 8-5 again. I'm a credit analyst now and even though a CPA isn't required, I'm doing it anyway just to satisfy my own goal, and maybe be the CFO or Controller one day.

    Now you know what is best for you family, I'm just giving my opinion of public accounting from my own experience…and it wasn't that great.

    AUD - Passed - 82 (10/1/13), Expires 4/1/2015 (57,62,64)
    BEC - Passed - 77 (7/14/14) (53,67,70,74) Half way to CPA!!!!
    REG - Passed - 81 (8/23/14) (68) 3 down 1 to go!!
    FAR - Passed - 75 (11/11/14) I'm DONE!!!!!

    Illinois Canidate

    #500634
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    That ‘people leave jobs for more money, not less' mentality is ridiculous. She's failing to consider the long-term dividends. If her logic held, you should have never left your minimum wage job in high school to focus on college – and that's clearly never the case.

    It seems you have your finances split (judging from the comment you made about not having to give each other money,) which means she shouldn't have a say in how you handle your finances, as long as she doesn't have to bail you out.

    Just tell her that it's OK, she doesn't need to take a job in public accounting. You, however, will. Seriously, though, that sounds really selfish and you should probably let her know that in the nicest way possible.

    #500565
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    That ‘people leave jobs for more money, not less' mentality is ridiculous. She's failing to consider the long-term dividends. If her logic held, you should have never left your minimum wage job in high school to focus on college – and that's clearly never the case.

    It seems you have your finances split (judging from the comment you made about not having to give each other money,) which means she shouldn't have a say in how you handle your finances, as long as she doesn't have to bail you out.

    Just tell her that it's OK, she doesn't need to take a job in public accounting. You, however, will. Seriously, though, that sounds really selfish and you should probably let her know that in the nicest way possible.

    #500567
    acamp
    Participant

    You guys sound like you're dating, not married.

    –Separate finances

    –Uncommon goals and outlooks

    Now it took a while for my wife and I to complete our merger; initially we were two consolidating entities that ran separate books!

    So what was her expectation when you completed school? That entry level public was going to pay more than your current job? Its a reasonable expectation: graduate college, make more money. But if you have a sweet union gig or something along those lines, entering the professional world usually requires a pay cut–however the 5 year, 10 year, 25 year long term pay graphs quickly diverge. Maybe you need to better explain this?

    Hypothetical situation and numbers, but you get the idea:

    Making $70K delivering boxes at UPS; in 10-15 years you might end up with knee problems, etc, and not be making a whole lot more than you started.

    Oh you left that job to make $55K in public, after 3-4 years, you're back at $70K, jump to industry and you're making $80K, or stay in public 5-7yrs, make $85-100K and then jump ship to make $120K; and you're nice and comfy (and getting fat, sorry, go to the gym!) not running around delivering boxes up to 12 hours a day!

    Ninja + Wiley Test Bank: [FAR - 81] [REG - 76] [BEC - 88] [AUD - 73](doh!)

    Becker Videos: [AUD - 82]

    California CPA

    #500636
    acamp
    Participant

    You guys sound like you're dating, not married.

    –Separate finances

    –Uncommon goals and outlooks

    Now it took a while for my wife and I to complete our merger; initially we were two consolidating entities that ran separate books!

    So what was her expectation when you completed school? That entry level public was going to pay more than your current job? Its a reasonable expectation: graduate college, make more money. But if you have a sweet union gig or something along those lines, entering the professional world usually requires a pay cut–however the 5 year, 10 year, 25 year long term pay graphs quickly diverge. Maybe you need to better explain this?

    Hypothetical situation and numbers, but you get the idea:

    Making $70K delivering boxes at UPS; in 10-15 years you might end up with knee problems, etc, and not be making a whole lot more than you started.

    Oh you left that job to make $55K in public, after 3-4 years, you're back at $70K, jump to industry and you're making $80K, or stay in public 5-7yrs, make $85-100K and then jump ship to make $120K; and you're nice and comfy (and getting fat, sorry, go to the gym!) not running around delivering boxes up to 12 hours a day!

    Ninja + Wiley Test Bank: [FAR - 81] [REG - 76] [BEC - 88] [AUD - 73](doh!)

    Becker Videos: [AUD - 82]

    California CPA

    #500569
    mla1169
    Participant

    It's one thing for a spouse to say ” these are my concerns about a career change. Can we navigate them together, or is this not a good move for our family right now?” If her concerns caused you to second guess the offer, that's a partnership.

    But if she truly won't LET you do this, and if you feel you need to “find something acceptable” to her, this job is only a symptom of a much bigger problem.

    FAR- 77
    AUD -49, 71, 84
    REG -56,75!
    BEC -75

    Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

    #500638
    mla1169
    Participant

    It's one thing for a spouse to say ” these are my concerns about a career change. Can we navigate them together, or is this not a good move for our family right now?” If her concerns caused you to second guess the offer, that's a partnership.

    But if she truly won't LET you do this, and if you feel you need to “find something acceptable” to her, this job is only a symptom of a much bigger problem.

    FAR- 77
    AUD -49, 71, 84
    REG -56,75!
    BEC -75

    Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

    #500571
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    I think MLA hit the nail on the head – if she's worried and hoping that you'll heed her worry, that's cool; if she's not allowing you, that's different. The thing is, this decision affects both of you. Neither of you should be making an independent decision on it – her to reject OR you to accept. It should be approached jointly.

    Now, if one spouse is just stupid, then a smart joint decision might not be able to be made. But I'm going to make the assumption that none of us married stupidity just cause it was pretty…and if that assumption is right, then some time and talking can lead to a mutual decision. My man and I have faced many situations in life – college, several job-changes, buying a house, deciding how to care for aging relatives, etc., pretty much everything except having kids…but we're both smart and both respect each other so we can talk through things and reach mutual agreement. Don't take the job against her advice; don't turn it down because she said “no”. Decide together what to do.

    Beyond the generic marriage advice

    Try to figure out *all* the concerns and how they can be addressed. Try to understand why she feels the way she does. She wasn't just born thinking that you should only take a new job if it pays more – there's some reason that she's grown to believe that. And…you weren't born thinking that taking a paycut would make more money – there's reasons that you believe that. If you can both explain your reasons, then you can look for something that alleviates her concerns while keeping your benefits.

    Also, the first offer isn't always the best. If you're promising you the world on a silver platter before you even get started, I would advise you to be cautious. I took the first public accounting offer that I received; I was promised the world, like partner in a few years, crap like that. I left a year later still making less than my boyfriend made working as a stocker at the grocery store and that was, hands-down, the worst job I have ever had, even without accounting for the pay. That doesn't mean that you should always turn down your first offer, it's just a caution to make sure it's an offer worth accepting before you accept it. And…if they're making generic statements about the likelihood of you getting raises but nothing concrete, then it sounds to me like they're trying to dangle the carrot in front of your nose to get you to bust your guts for a couple years without having to actually pay you more.

Viewing 15 replies - 31 through 45 (of 66 total)
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