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Hi everyone. I need to vent, as I’m sure my family and friends are tired of me always telling them that I didn’t pass.
I have been studying for this test since December 2011. However, I was able to sit for and pass my first test in January 2012 (two weeks after my last and final suicide attempt–don’t know how I pulled that off). I got cheated on and frankly was just depressed and not happy with myself. Of course I sought help and am happy to say that chapter of my life is closed.
Since then, I’ve sat for the test numerous times and only once felt good walking out of a test (it was REG and I got a 74). In college, I never failed a class and I actually graduated with honors. I’ve been working as a staff accountant straight out of college for almost 2 years and have been doing exceptionally well. Unfortunately I just don’t do well with standardized testing.
I’ve spent so much money and so many hours on this test. I received my AUD score yesterday and found out I got a 70. Did worse on the multiple choice than expected and did just as expected on the SIMS. Sometimes I feel so stupid and just want to give up and change my career, but I can’t see myself really doing anything else. It’s just so frustrating when I’m told I’m really good at what I do, yet I can’t pass a test.
Having your life in order is definitely important when sitting for this test. Today, I can say it’s as close to that as it has been in an extremely long time. I have a wonderful boyfriend and family. I actually recently came out to my whole family on Thanksgiving (day before I sat for AUD), and the reaction I received was the best reaction I could ever have expected. No excuses, but the thought of having to come out did distract me sometimes from studying for AUD. My brother suggested that I maybe take a break and sit for the test later on (especially since I’m in CA and I only graduated with about 126 units–pathway expired!)… but AUD is fresh in my mind and I feel like I’m just so close.
When I sat for REG for a third time in July, my family was in the process of moving/finding a house (parents’ home was foreclosed)… fortunately, my brother and I were able to co-sign on a house for all of us. We downgraded from a beautiful neighborhood to a not-so-beautiful or safe one. My depression kicked in a little there. Growing up, we lived in a bad neighborhood. After middle school, we were able to move to a beautiful house, which I had always dreamed of and we lived there for 10 years. Having it taken away and having to move back to a bad neighborhood was tough. But I am using it as motivation to save money for myself and move far, far away from here. And I’m using it as motivation to pass this test!
I can admit to myself that I have been distracted with personal issues pretty much every time I have taken this test. With that in mind, I’m hoping I can really start focusing on the test and dedicating a lot more time to it.
This post is all over the place because I’m pretty emotional. But if you took the time to read my venting, I just want to thank you. :p
BEC - July 2014
REG - Aug 2014
FAR - January 2015
AUD - May 2014
Ethics - 3x...
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