[Anonymous]

So, I still live at home for now (in the process of finding a house), but lately my family just doesn’t understand that I need to study. My mom keeps asking me to go shopping with her and I say I can’t I need to study and then she gets my dad to try to guilt me and I flip out. I’m starting to get overwhelmed because I am a family person but they don’t seem to understand that right now all I can do is study. Then, I have family telling me to quit because it has taken me a little while to pass tests and I keep getting close but not passing. I have almost reached my breaking point.

[tomq04]

I have had many, many girlfriends during the process. If any of them wanted to do anything during my study time I told them that they could go “STRAIGHT TO HELL!”, they never bothered me after that.

Thankfully my wife was pretty supportive.

REG- (1) 76
FAR- (2) 64, (5)74, (7)83 (Over achiever!)
AUD- (3) 70, (4) 75
BEC- (6) 75

[Uhartsoccer21]

Absolutely find another place to study.. separate your study life and personal life, just like you would work. Find a nice low key coffee shop or library and make it your escape. That way when your done studying you can go home and relax and not worry about studying. For my first two tests I just studied in my office, my roommates barely ever saw me so all they could do was distract me through texts and that is a lot easier to say no to then in person.

A - 89 10/23/2014
R - 90 2/27/2014
F - 75 5/25/2014
B - 83 8/28/2014

[jeff]

I wrote a section on friend/family and studying in the Survival Guide: https://www.another71.com/cpa-exam-survival-guide/

Jeff Elliott, CPA (KS) | Another71 | NINJA CPA | NINJA CMA | NINJA CPE

[Dantrick]

My husband asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, “Time to study” and he said, “No really” and I said “REALLY!” I have three little boys, a three year old, two year old, and a eight month old. I am a stay at home mom and since I am home while my husband is working, he thinks I should just study all day, ugh. I take care of three kids all day I can't study then, oh and siblings agree with him, so basically I get ganged up on. I just want to be done.

[Jstubb]

I believe The people closest to us (usually) don't want / mean to intentionally cause us disharmony or hurt. That being said, we all grew up playing “roles” in our family of origin codependent dynamics. Moms. Dads, siblings, husbands, friends, colleagues, bosses know exactly what to say / what to do to be manipulative and controlling (knowing / unknowingly) to get what they want.

As an adult now, you have the right to choose to say yes or no and ask for their understanding and respect of your decisions. Especially, a healthy decision to study to meet a goal that will enhance your future. I'm sure your mom / dad simply miss your smiling face and companionship, but this is a great opportunity for them (others) to find other hobbies, friends, alone time that doesn't interfere with your boundaries and need for space while studying.

To avoid hurting anyone's feelings or having an uncomfortable situation (which, yes, causes undue strain on you), the advice of a set study schedule sounds best. If mom, dad, siblings, spouse refuse to respect your study schedule and the time you do / can make for them, then the second best advice sounds like finding a library, coffee house, friend / boyfriends place to study at…… Turn phone on silent / off at this time at allow yourself , I'll say it again, allow yourself the time and energy you deserve to focus and complete your goal without giving others the opportunity to make you feel guilt or stress. I agree, don't lie, just be honest with the intention of love and kindness behind every word in trying to explain your time is of the essence right now – and that its temporary. Ask yourself the “10 rule”…… Will this be an issue in 10 days from now, 10 months from now or 10 years from now???? And to be completely transparent, I'm really talking to myself right now and not preaching to the choir bc I'm facing similar situation. If you find the answer, please share before you make millions off the it!!!! :-).

AUD: Nov2014 81
FAR: Jan2015
BEC: Feb2015
REG: Apr2015
Using Becker

[Anonymous]

Honestly, just talking to other people on here going through the same/similar things has really helped me. Just having someone to understand what you are going through helps a lot. And reading things to remind me not to quit, like if you quit you give those people the satisfaction of being right. And I really don't want to give those people the satisfaction and I want to show them how much better my life will be after this and maybe they will realize then what all I was doing it for. Like people say too, hindsight is 20/20 so hopefully my family will understand later, even if they don't now.

[Anonymous]

Lie and say you have to actually go to class like it's college. Then just go to the library.

[kroopwv]

Get a study schedule and stick to it. Give people certain days and, above all, convince YOURSELF this is a temporary inconvenience for a permanent improvement… those who love you will be there when you get done.

[Mamabear]

I planned it out well so that I had 3 small children to give my parents and my husband plenty of distractions so I could study. It's amazing how much less they miss me when they get to spend time with those cuties. Now I'm not saying you should have a baby to distract them, but…. 🙂 Just kidding.

CPA Exam - Finally DONE (November 2014)
BEC (08/10/13) 80
AUD (08/24/13) 65 (11/13/13) 85
FAR (04/12/14) 81
REG (07/19/14) 69 (11/29/14) 87!!

[smeech8000]

Show them this:

https://www.aicpa.org/BECOMEACPA/CPAEXAM/PSYCHOMETRICSANDSCORING/PASSINGRATES/Pages/default.aspx

And tell them that half of the people who sit don't generally understand how much time is required to adequately prepare… guess which half that is?

B 92
A 99
R 90
F 92

Becker Self-Study

OH CPA since 2/18/14

[rfc63]

Show them how much the exams cost and when they request that you don't study and go do something with them, tell them you'll do it if you cover the cost of the exams. This is way to much of a financial commitment to take lightly.

[Anonymous]

I am so thankful for all of the post and the general advice. People are not understanding why I've said no to every invite. I've given a blanket statement, no social events for the month. I've been in this struggle since August 2013. I've taken BEC and waiting on the scores. I'm currently studying for FAR. The schedule is so overwhelming. I like one post how much weight have you gained. I'm paying for my monthly gym membership and I haven't been to the gym in months. My mom continuously say you have met your match on this exam. I'm not used to studying so having this hanging over my head for over a year is a little discourage. This David has met her Goliath. We all know how that ended.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you're still reading this it sounds like you're having a tough time bridging your youth and this step into adulthood. What I mean is that the CPA requires a stern stance sometimes and that's tough to do with your parents the first time. Yes, they're your parents but if it's not the CPA it will be your future marriage, your job, your kids, you name it that you'll have to lay the law some time. Don't feel bad for putting your foot down when it comes to this. They had to do it with their parents about something at one point.

[san4596]

Family can be the worst when it comes to studying for the CPA Exam. They do not understand, and really do care to attempt to understand unless you make them.

1) Family who tell you to quit – I would look them in the face ask “Why would you tell me to give up on my dream? Would you like for me to say the same to your children?”

2) For your mom – I've had a similar hard time with my last exam and my wife. She wants me to go to the store shopping, out to eat, and spend the day with me. However, this has caused me to fail my last 2 attempts to complete FAR. I even get the whole “Why are you in a hurry? It's not like you have anything else to do today.” I have now turned the guilt back onto her, and it has helped. I never told her to “Go To Hell” though. 😉

CPA EXAM: DONE!!!!
Ethics Course: Passed
Application Mailed: 3/16/15
Professional Conduct Exam: 97
Certification Date: 4/2/15!!!

[Anonymous]

So glad that I found this post! I'm just now starting to study and there have already been some issues regarding boundaries and scheduling.

You guys have tons of great advice here. I especially love the bit about setting firm, non-negotiable times to study and asking family members to work around it.

Good luck, OP 🙂

[Author]

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