[Ajaz0810]

So I got married in the beginning of June and love my wife very much but I believe this test has taken a toll on our relationship and Ive only been studying a month. It feels like I need to fight my wife to get the time to study. She interrupts me when I’m in my room alone study by starting to talk, and when I tell her I need to study I feel like I’m being a jerk. I do work 40+ hours a week so when I get home I start studying right away but she just wants to do other things with me. When I get a weekend off I want to spend it studying 8 hours a day but when I tell her I’m going to study she seems to not like it. I try to tell her how hard this test is and if I don’t study then I will fail and she says she understands but I feel this test is having a strain on our relationship. Anybody else have this problem?

FAR 62, 66, 78
AUD 66, 55, 74, 72
BEC 79
REG

[ruggercpa2b]

I'm not married but like some I have a boyfriend and we live together. He is very supportive but I dont think he realized how much studying actually needed to be done to be able to pass. I used to let the exam take up most of my time and it did strain our relationship. Now I make time for him. I study at least 2 to 3 hours Monday through Thursday. We always eat dinner together and get at least an hour of chit chat before I get to studying and Friday nights are date nights. I don't talk about studying or how I wish I could be studying while we are out. On the weekends I wake up early and put in a few hours before he gets up and then we always eat breakfast together and then I get back to studying. Sundays are usually lazy days. He is happy when I off studying because that means he can watch football all day without hearing me complain.

Its hard but you have to at least make an effort and find time. Its very easy to let this exam consume you.

AUD - 73, 72 retake 7/2/2016
BEC - 8/20/2016
REG - TBD
FAR - TBD

I am so ready for this nightmare to be over. Been at this way too long.

[ruggercpa2b]

I'm not married but like some I have a boyfriend and we live together. He is very supportive but I dont think he realized how much studying actually needed to be done to be able to pass. I used to let the exam take up most of my time and it did strain our relationship. Now I make time for him. I study at least 2 to 3 hours Monday through Thursday. We always eat dinner together and get at least an hour of chit chat before I get to studying and Friday nights are date nights. I don't talk about studying or how I wish I could be studying while we are out. On the weekends I wake up early and put in a few hours before he gets up and then we always eat breakfast together and then I get back to studying. Sundays are usually lazy days. He is happy when I off studying because that means he can watch football all day without hearing me complain.

Its hard but you have to at least make an effort and find time. Its very easy to let this exam consume you.

AUD - 73, 72 retake 7/2/2016
BEC - 8/20/2016
REG - TBD
FAR - TBD

I am so ready for this nightmare to be over. Been at this way too long.

[Gatorbates]

This is 100% normal. I am not “newly married” … have been married for 9 years and have 2 little kids. So study time is hard to find. Fortunately, my wife understands that the time I spend away from the family (about 40 hrs a week) to study is just temporary, and for the betterment of our family. Have a heart to heart talk with her. Every situation/family is different. Try and have her see it from your point of view. You're getting your license for a reason: For the financial betterment of your family (at least I hope!). If she can see this, then she “should” understand … remember: this is temporary. Best of luck.

Licensed Florida CPA:
B: 71, 73, 79
A: 83
R: 78 (expired), 77
F: 74, 74, 80

It's finally freaking over.

[Gatorbates]

This is 100% normal. I am not “newly married” … have been married for 9 years and have 2 little kids. So study time is hard to find. Fortunately, my wife understands that the time I spend away from the family (about 40 hrs a week) to study is just temporary, and for the betterment of our family. Have a heart to heart talk with her. Every situation/family is different. Try and have her see it from your point of view. You're getting your license for a reason: For the financial betterment of your family (at least I hope!). If she can see this, then she “should” understand … remember: this is temporary. Best of luck.

Licensed Florida CPA:
B: 71, 73, 79
A: 83
R: 78 (expired), 77
F: 74, 74, 80

It's finally freaking over.

[Anonymous]

mla1169: I think you missed the part where he is giving her the WEEKEND with her family so he want's to study Saturday night. Just like everything in marriage, it's a trade off. She can't have it both ways.

[Anonymous]

mla1169: I think you missed the part where he is giving her the WEEKEND with her family so he want's to study Saturday night. Just like everything in marriage, it's a trade off. She can't have it both ways.

[mla1169]

I didn't miss that part at all. And I do understand it's a trade off, but she has to be willing to make that trade off, and clearly she is not.

Look, I did this with a family too, just like most of you. I've been with my husband since 1987. Just because WE approach the negotiation table with “I'll give you X in place of Y” does not mean our spouses are required to sign off on it. It doesn't mean I agree with either the OP or his wife, quite the contrary. Just that “communication” is a two way street, and it sounds like neither of them is validating the other.

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[mla1169]

I didn't miss that part at all. And I do understand it's a trade off, but she has to be willing to make that trade off, and clearly she is not.

Look, I did this with a family too, just like most of you. I've been with my husband since 1987. Just because WE approach the negotiation table with “I'll give you X in place of Y” does not mean our spouses are required to sign off on it. It doesn't mean I agree with either the OP or his wife, quite the contrary. Just that “communication” is a two way street, and it sounds like neither of them is validating the other.

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[Ajaz0810]

The issue this weekend is yes we made the agreement for Monday and Saturday nights together. I was at the library from 9-3 on Saturday and when I came home she told me we needed to go somewhere all day Sunday and that's when I continued to study all night Saturday. She was mad and told me “I thought we have Saturday night”. She just doesn't understand that every day I have off work is very precious study time to have.

FAR 62, 66, 78
AUD 66, 55, 74, 72
BEC 79
REG

[Ajaz0810]

The issue this weekend is yes we made the agreement for Monday and Saturday nights together. I was at the library from 9-3 on Saturday and when I came home she told me we needed to go somewhere all day Sunday and that's when I continued to study all night Saturday. She was mad and told me “I thought we have Saturday night”. She just doesn't understand that every day I have off work is very precious study time to have.

FAR 62, 66, 78
AUD 66, 55, 74, 72
BEC 79
REG

[Anonymous]

Ajaz0810 – You have to find what works for you and your wife. The first year can be really tough and is a big adjustment for both of you, especially with you studying for such a huge exam.

My two cents- I was married for a few years and worked 70-80 hours a week. It took a toll on my marriage and when I decided to go to night school to get my master's, my marriage ended. The divorce happened for a lot of reasons, but the lack of communication and me not being around did not help. Fast forward a few years and I'm in another relationship. I studied like crazy when my significant other was busy and communicated when I needed study time. Afterwards, I made a point to spend an hour or two with him. It took me a year and a lot of compromises, but I passed all four exams. Studying is really tough and demands a lot of your time, but you have to take care of the rest of your life too. Otherwise, you'll look up one day with a lot of professional accomplishments and no one to share them with.

[Anonymous]

Ajaz0810 – You have to find what works for you and your wife. The first year can be really tough and is a big adjustment for both of you, especially with you studying for such a huge exam.

My two cents- I was married for a few years and worked 70-80 hours a week. It took a toll on my marriage and when I decided to go to night school to get my master's, my marriage ended. The divorce happened for a lot of reasons, but the lack of communication and me not being around did not help. Fast forward a few years and I'm in another relationship. I studied like crazy when my significant other was busy and communicated when I needed study time. Afterwards, I made a point to spend an hour or two with him. It took me a year and a lot of compromises, but I passed all four exams. Studying is really tough and demands a lot of your time, but you have to take care of the rest of your life too. Otherwise, you'll look up one day with a lot of professional accomplishments and no one to share them with.

[mla1169]

Does she have many friends she can go out with? Is there some activity she's been wanting to try (a fitness class, cake decorating class, book club)? She sounds like she just doesn't know what to do with herself while you're studying and maybe needs something that's just hers alone.

Show here how many hours per section you need to study (show her this webpage even) and tell her to get to that point you will need x hours on weekdays and x hours on weekends. Ask her if she'd mind if you studied at work, at the library, somewhere that she can better resist the temptation to converse with you.

MOST IMPORTANT acknowledge her part in this. When she gives you time, thank her profusely, tell her its her support that's getting you through this. The old catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Say aloud that you realize she is making great sacrifices as well (because she is) and for that, she is your hero.

If its only been a month and you're feeling the strain, its going to be a rocky ride until you're done. Smooth it out as much as you can now for your own well being during this process and a happy future together when you're done.

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[mla1169]

Does she have many friends she can go out with? Is there some activity she's been wanting to try (a fitness class, cake decorating class, book club)? She sounds like she just doesn't know what to do with herself while you're studying and maybe needs something that's just hers alone.

Show here how many hours per section you need to study (show her this webpage even) and tell her to get to that point you will need x hours on weekdays and x hours on weekends. Ask her if she'd mind if you studied at work, at the library, somewhere that she can better resist the temptation to converse with you.

MOST IMPORTANT acknowledge her part in this. When she gives you time, thank her profusely, tell her its her support that's getting you through this. The old catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Say aloud that you realize she is making great sacrifices as well (because she is) and for that, she is your hero.

If its only been a month and you're feeling the strain, its going to be a rocky ride until you're done. Smooth it out as much as you can now for your own well being during this process and a happy future together when you're done.

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[Guti]

Good luck!

FAR-84
AUD-
REG-
BEC-

[Author]

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