[missymoo]

I have taken the exams on and off since 2001 and during this time I have had two children (now ages 5 and 7). Back in my earlier test taking times I would pass a part here and there but of course those parts didn’t count because I could never get two parts at one time. I started back up studying in January of this year with my husbands full support. Took my first audit exam in May and failed. Then my husband and I decided that Beckers would be the way to go and paid the large sum of money so I retook the audit exam in July and failed. Now I feel non-stop pressure from my husband. He gets aggitated when I leave the house to go study (kids are too loud and I can’t study at home). I will study at Starbucks for 8 hours a week. I will study at home after the kids go to bed but my husband even gets aggitated with that because he wants me to lie in bed with him. Then I am up until 3 am studying because this is the only time I get alone. I have talked to him and he says he wants to spend time with me. Now tonight he asked me if this studying thing was going to be an everynight occurence? He swears up and down that he supports me and will do everything he can to help me but everytime I tell him how I feel we just get in a huge argument.

I want this CPA because it is a goal of mine at this point. I have been pushing for it for so many years now.

I am wondering if any of you have gone through a similar experience?

[Mom2two]

Go to Free Stuff at the top and select the Ninja Study planner. I think it asks you to email Jeff. If you are not a morning person, you will have to modify it. If you don't you will feel guilty for not getting up. Don't put that guilt on yourself! I second MLA's idea about paper plates. I don't even know what real plates are anymore! Double recipes, freeze them. crock pot. Plan out your meals so you are not trying to throw something together or your husband which will only add to his frustration. I have a laundry basket I keep at the bottom of the stairs and everyone's junk that seems to multiple during the day goes there so it is one trip up and everyone put away at the end of the day. Doesn't look the best but I don't care. Right now it is about trying to maintain the chaos for short period of time. Also I do yoga for a few minutes every night to center myself and make sure I get restful sleep. If you don't know what study method works for you, think about how you studied in college. Don't follow some review courses suggestions, figure out what works for you and stick to it so you can get those passes and be done with this thing! For me the highlighter thing with Becker never worked.

B: 81 (3X) May 2012
A: 76 (1X) Nov 2011
R: 86 (2X) Feb 2012
F: 64, April 2011, retake 10.01.12 - 75!!!!!!!!!!

[Marivy22]

I am married and have a son, so I can relate.

I agree with mom2two, you will see some light at the end of the tunnel with the ELL Plan.

I used to leave my son in daycare one hour earlier, to go to the office and study for an hour. At lunch time I tried to study for about an hour and a half and 1-2 hours in the evening. On weekends 4-6 hours per day. I would “open” the library at 8AM on Saturdays and at 10AM Sundays and be out around 2pm, with plenty of time to spend with the family.

Done 😉
Class of 2012!!!!
Lots of prayers and hard work....

[LittleMoe]

Ask him to sit down with you and make a calendar for each week for the section you plan to study first. Tell him I need ??? hours or ?? hours per week for this number of weeks. If he is involved in making the schedule and seeing how much time you truly need to devote to this, hopefully that will help. Also, when making it, set aside some time for the two of you and for the kids. When you PLAN to spend time together just like you PLAN your study time, you may be more able to ‘turn off' study time and spend quality time with them.

I also like the ELL plan but without the E because I am NOT a morning person. I do see a world of difference in just getting that hour in at lunch. It is much nicer to go home at night knowing I only need to study 2 more hours instead of three. Also, I passed my first three (and hopefully BEC this week!!) while taking most Sundays off. I liked that once I was done on Saturdays, I still had something that resembled a weekend!! As the exam gets closer, I tend to study on Sundays, like I did yesterday, but, it is nice knowing that I don't have to. Change is hard but if you and hubby can work together to find the method that works for your family, you will have a much easier journey

AUD 4/12/12 79
FAR 5/29/12 76
REG 8/2/12 82
BEC 8/30/12 72 Retake 10/18/12 76!!! DONE!!!!
ExamMatrix, Wiley Books, NINJA notes and audio
LICENSED ALABAMA CPA 11/30/12

[Anonymous]

@Kricket

Your story reminds me of one of my own! I was studying and my bf wanted to eat and instead of making the burgers himself he kept bothering me about how long it was going to be until I cooked. I jumped out of my chair, grabbed the one pound packaged of burger meat and threw it at him. Then I proceeded to cry and curse like a sailor. I am cajun too so I think it is in our DNA! haha

[Tux]

I agree with the previous posts. He needs to be supportive, and you also need to manage your time for him to get some attention. Communication is key in order to address both sides.

I have learned that any disagreement between a couple is rarely about the topic being discussed. All issues come back to one (or more) underlying feelings like fear, shame, sadness, anger, etc.

Ask him what he's really feeling and what exactly he needs from you? It may not be easy to answer that, but to find a solution, it's important. Maybe he feels unimportant, lonely, under-appreciated, etc? So find a way to address his needs in a way that does not affect your studies.

You say that he wants to be sure that all this studying is paying off. What would he want you to do if you weren't studying? If it's get a job, maybe he's afraid of your current financial situation? If it's housework, maybe he doesn't feel appreciated for pitching in? If he wishes that you both could socialize more, maybe he's afraid of losing touch with friends? It usually comes down to feelings about a sub-topic that is not being discussed. So, if the underlying issue is really about money, appreciation, friends, etc – then talk about that – not about studying for the exam.

Get the book “Hold Me Tight” by Sue Johnson. It's based on scientific research of what exactly keeps a couple close, especially in challenging times. Her methodology is called “Emotionally Focused Therapy” or EFT.

You can also find a certified EFT counselor in your area here – https://iceeft.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=59&Itemid=54

Don't be afraid of meeting with a counselor for advice. It's like going to the doctor for a pain. You're just getting advice. Not a big deal.

Overall, men need a LOT of praise and thank-you's. The solution might not require your time, but many more verbal thank-you's for his supporting you. (Yes, you can lie. Even if you don't feel his support, if he's convinced he's giving it, just thank him over and over for whatever he IS giving. If that can pacify him, then it's worth it, if you're able to study more.)

FAR - 86 - 2/27/14
AUD - 75 - 5/29/14
BEC - 80 - 8/31/14
REG - 89 - 2/27/15
Praise Jesus! I'm done!!

Study resources:
Becker
Wiley test bank

[missymoo]

I HEAR YOU THERE!!! Men are like children in that they need a LOT of praise!! I told him that I appreciate him about 8 times today and when I left to go study tonight he surprised me by saying that he was proud of me?????? I am so confused but I am not questioning him and will take it.

Tux – I am at Barnes and Noble taking a 5 minute break so I will go look for that book you are speaking of. Sounds like something worth checking out.

[mla1169]

By the way, my favorite uncle has called me missy moo since the day I was born 😉 your name makes me smile!

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[missymoo]

How cute…I call my daughter missymoo 🙂

[thistooshallpass]

Just to offer another book suggestion, The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is really good, if both parties are interested in improving the relationship. Pretty short, quick read, my husband does NOT read and he did it. It's basically about figuring out what each person really needs, instead of giving love the way you might want to receive it, it helps you figure out the best way to show love to your partner. In times like this when there is very little time together, I think it could help improve relationships.

AUD 85 (2/12) Using Becker
FAR 81 (5/12)
BEC 79 (7/13)
REG 85 (10/1)

"It's not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves."

[MeaDebitum]

I'm pretty sure this has nothing to with your husband wanting you to study for or pass the CPA exam more to do with your communication together. You have no idea why it matters if you are next to him at night, ask him? Maybe go on a walk or a drive together like someone above me suggested. Go to sleep early, wake up early. Stay at work later to study. I highly recommend not throwing a book or pouting about it…, it sounds like you need to make an effort to understand what he feels and needs instead arguing about how much you're supposed to study.

$.02

[Anonymous]

I don't have kids but I felt bad whenever I had to study and my husband was home. I solved the problem by waiting until he got deployed to Afghanistan. Deployments suck but I don't feel bad about studying anymore. 🙂

[Author]

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