Dear AICPA and NASBA:
I realize over the past three years I have said some really negative things about both of you. I have called you money sucking leeches on my savings account. I have called you names that I would never have said in the presence of my grandmother, because she would have slapped me into another dimension. I have made up new dirty words to describe you to friends and family. I have blamed you for every ache, pain and ailment that I have encountered since I began this journey. I have called you lazy for taking so long to release my failing scores. I have accused you of having first generation Atari’s for servers. I called you the scum of the earth especially when you added IFRS to the content outlines. I have deluded myself into believing that you of having a personal grudge against me. I have been really mean and my behavior has been out of line.
I would like to thank you for the passing BEC score on my birthday last year. That was a really great present! I have truly enjoyed the 83 in Auditing. The 76 in FAR was the greatest. But now that beautiful 76 in FAR is in jeopardy. Without a passing score in REG that beautiful 76 will go away and I am afraid I will go back to my old ways of calling you both names. I know your job is to protect the public good and keep unethical and untrained accountants from hurting people. I promise I will never do anything to violate anyone’s trust or hurt them in any way. I know that you have an unbelievably hard job to do with a limited budget and not enough man power.
I guess what I’m trying to say is I am sorry for my previous behavior and I promise to pay my annual AICPA and Louisiana State Society of CPA dues in a timely fashion in exchange for a 75 in REG. I will make sure that I keep up with the required CPE if you just give me this one last passing score. I will welcome my peer reviewer with open arms and a box of warm doughnuts. Please don’t make me go back to my old ways of being mean and use ugly words. I realize that it sounds like I am sucking up and to be honest, I am. I certainly hope I am sucking up in time and that you respond well to candidates who have lost all modesty and humility.
Thank you for your time.
Kricket
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