[mystical guy]

I’m a man in a Audit team with all my colleagues being women and the one who trains me has been a bit too “friendly” toward me, including getting into details of how I should organize my desk…bringing me stuff, cute gifts, asking me to join clubs she attends..etc.

She’s mentioned a couple of times that she’s engaged and often complains about her man, even asking me to agree with her…but I stay out of that.

I noticed that when she sits next to me, she will push her legs so close toward me that they will be very “intimate”. When I pull away my leg and give her space she becomes upset. She has also been touching me a lot and asking me out to lunch every day, even when I insist I go home for lunch. Constantly checks on my feelings, constantly asks if I’m happy and what she could “do” for me.

I’m just wondering, I’m I overreacting here or could she be attracted to me? I love this job so much and I know any type of affair or office romance will probably put me in jeopardy. I just wanna know that I’m overreacting and I’m crazy.

CPA - Since 2015
CISA - Smashed 2012
CIA - Passed 2015

[Future Ninja]

Tell her you're seeing someone else too and you're not interested.

AUD - 79 (expired) retaking July 28,2016
FAR - 76 expiring July 31, 2016
BEC - 85
REG - 74,74,74,74,59,70,

[Mamabear]

A girl that worked with me sounds exactly like the girl you described. She was married and flirted with everyone. She had drinks with a married coworker and they wound up having sex. Someone found out, she claimed rape because she didn't want her husband to know she cheated willingly. It came out that she lied, but it was too late to undo the damage. The man was fired, she was fired, and she took down another coworker (male) with her claiming he was “too” friendly by putting his hands on her shoulders when standing behind her to see something on her computer screen. It sounds like fun to some to flirt back, go for drinks, have lunch, etc. simply because she is hot, but the truth is you're talking about a dangerous situation. Unfortunately women have a lot of power when it comes to things like this. They play the innocent card even if they initiated the contact and a lot of people believe them. Your career could be ruined in the process. I agree with everything M.O.D. said. Don't play this game. You'll be playing with fire. I stand by my original comment…document EVERYTHING!

CPA Exam - Finally DONE (November 2014)
BEC (08/10/13) 80
AUD (08/24/13) 65 (11/13/13) 85
FAR (04/12/14) 81
REG (07/19/14) 69 (11/29/14) 87!!

[Pandarama]

@Kricket and everyone else who thinks this guy should just “tell her that you appreciate all of the attention she has been paying you and that it has been really good for your ego, but you are not interested in anything other than a professional relationship.”

… this plan sounds like it will quickly back fire. I can already hear the woman giving him the stink eye and having a kanipsh*t and her defending herself for coming off the wrong way even if she had negative intentions.

I do agree w/ keeping documentation and always make a point to only discuss appropriate stuff with her (what's for lunch and work topics are fine but never discuss personal life).

One poster mentioned having a drink w/ the girl's fiance. I like this suggestion but want to elaborate w/ more detail: Next time she asks if you want to go out after work for a beer, just plainly explain to her that you don't hang out w/ girl's alone if they have a significant other and then tell her that if her fiance plans on being there then that's a different story. And when she says “it's only one drink”, tell her that you don't want anyone getting the wrong idea.

BEC - 80
AUD - 64, 75 - credit lost, 90!!
REG - 73, 74, 83
FAR - 61, 72, 85

Feels good finishing on my best note. Time to watch the mailbox.

[thelawnwranglers]

just start asking her dating advice questions and sound like a total hopeless unconfident loser when it comes to women. Aka “I just met a girl at the gym and we are having a first date is it a good idea for me to bring her a teddy bear I found that remind me of her, and a mix tape of all the songs that played when were at the gym? I think she would appreciate the thoughtfulness what do you think? I am so nervous”

Friend Zone engaged!

[Pandarama]

@thelawnwranglers – lol!!!

You can do what my coworker does, talk about your cat (doesn't matter if you don't really have one). Tell her about how if you don't get home on time, your cat is mean to you. Then tell her different things that your cat does but make sure it's all normal cat stuff. “My cat is so funny… when she wants to eat, she meows at me really loud and then when I scratch her tummy, she purrs”.

No lie, my co-worker told me all about how his cat is a tree cat vs a bush cat. Make sure when she tries to change the subject, you bring the subject right back to the most boring topic in the world.

BEC - 80
AUD - 64, 75 - credit lost, 90!!
REG - 73, 74, 83
FAR - 61, 72, 85

Feels good finishing on my best note. Time to watch the mailbox.

[mystical guy]

I thought I should address multiple questions I had for posting this.

1. This is not a joke and I'm not a troll. I respect Another71 too much to post something that I genuinely didn't need advice on.

2. The girl does NOT touch anyone else in the office. I spend over 10 hours a day with her, I see people come and go. She also does NOT sit close to other people when they have to sit side by side. She's not the touchy-feely kind of person, from what I've observed.

3. She also does NOT flirt with other men that come and go from our office. She's very business-like with them, including her male friends.

4. She has continued to suggest things we could do together outside the office, and asked me to meet her parents, which I found to be strange. (Leaving other details out to protect my anonymity).

5. She has asked our Manager if I could join her on certain work-related trips and if I could be partnered up with her for all audits. There will be a lot of traveling out of State involved.

6. Since I'm concerned that she might read this and put pieces together, I might ask Admins/Jeff to delete my post, but I'll at least wait to get a few more responses and then decide.

7. I posted this question because I LOVE my job. There's no romance that can replace the love I have with my job. However, reporting this will probably get me in trouble, somehow, somewhere. The person is very influential. She's probably one of the most critical people in the audit team. They'll gladly get rid of me and keep her, if I complain.

I'm gonna have to find a way to stay without causing trouble.

*I should add that I'm also quite competent. The Manager values me a lot and I built something for the firm that's gonna make a HUGE difference for the next 10+ years. So I know my worth too, and I can move to another firm, for more money. But this place is too good! I'm taking a 20k pay cut to be here, that's how good.

CPA - Since 2015
CISA - Smashed 2012
CIA - Passed 2015

[Skynet]

^ Can you see if she has a younger sister who is also single for me?

[jeff]

My billing rate for deleting posts is $100,000/hr.

I should have mentioned that.

[mystical guy]

@Jeff – another71.com haha. I thought you go by “beer-rates” rather than billing rates. I thought you just have a script that looks for “delete post” and then does the dirty work for you lol jk.

@Skynet, according to the law of hotness, if she's hot her sister is the inverse. Still interested?

CPA - Since 2015
CISA - Smashed 2012
CIA - Passed 2015

[Skynet]

@mystical guy – But the exception to the rule is if she has more than one sister.

[Skynet]

@Jeff – I'd always assume you were piad in HiYa's.

[mystical guy]

@Skynet haha. You got me there, buddy. I won't disclose how many sisters she has or doesn't have but I can tell you that you're outta luck.

CPA - Since 2015
CISA - Smashed 2012
CIA - Passed 2015

[M.O.D.]

@ mystical guy

I'm sorry but you lost my respect, or that you view this as a serious problem, or that you are not on some kind of ego trip.

If you thought this was a problem, you would address it either with her, or with the manager. You wold readily read her some of the replies on this thread, and discuss it openly. To first post and then ask to delete (and keep it quiet) is to be looking for drama.

If she does not seem dangerous to you and her “niceties” do not bother you, why bother us?

BA Mathematics, UC Berkeley
Certificates in CPA and EA preparation, College of San Mateo
CMA I 420, II 470
FAR 91, AUD Feb 2015 (Gleim self-study)

[Anonymous]

I really hope you're not complaining about this…

[mystical guy]

@M.O.D.

With all due respect, I'm not here to win anybody's approval. I just read some of the responses and realized that if I report the issue, (or consult an attorney), I'll just end up in a maze that won't be pretty, and my objective is to keep my job.

However, I just had an epiphany. Now, let's forget about the sexual harassment or whatever it is. Something has been happening with this lady. She came to me on “Day X” and told me that, “Wouldn't it be nice if the Manager took me to Location X for an Audit?”. I said, sure, it would be.

On Day Y, she goes to the Manager, not knowing I could hear them, and requests that I and herself go to that location together, for a week. I thought to myself, what the hell's going on here? Why does she always do that?

The Manager then comes and tells me that I'll go to said Location with the lady. No explanation, I just get ordered to do it.

This is one example of the games that are being played, which don't make sense to me.

CPA - Since 2015
CISA - Smashed 2012
CIA - Passed 2015

[Author]

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