[mystical guy]

I’m a man in a Audit team with all my colleagues being women and the one who trains me has been a bit too “friendly” toward me, including getting into details of how I should organize my desk…bringing me stuff, cute gifts, asking me to join clubs she attends..etc.

She’s mentioned a couple of times that she’s engaged and often complains about her man, even asking me to agree with her…but I stay out of that.

I noticed that when she sits next to me, she will push her legs so close toward me that they will be very “intimate”. When I pull away my leg and give her space she becomes upset. She has also been touching me a lot and asking me out to lunch every day, even when I insist I go home for lunch. Constantly checks on my feelings, constantly asks if I’m happy and what she could “do” for me.

I’m just wondering, I’m I overreacting here or could she be attracted to me? I love this job so much and I know any type of affair or office romance will probably put me in jeopardy. I just wanna know that I’m overreacting and I’m crazy.

CPA - Since 2015
CISA - Smashed 2012
CIA - Passed 2015

[Anonymous]

Tell her you have an STD? Maybe she'll back off then…

edited to add: as long as she doesn't have one to share as well

[M.O.D.]

@ mystical

This is 100% bad news. Be a man and set limits. Move away from her and make it clear you are not interested. Do not talk to her about personal life/feelings. Keep it 100% professional. It is for both of youse own goods.

If she cannot control herself (few women can :), you have to control her. Such is the burden of men.

Do not waste time with drama like “sexual harassment.” That is for women only. No one would believe you, no one would care, and all will laugh at you, like here.

Luckily, women have more sense than men and can do the right thing easier. Use the sense of women to your advantage. That other women are sensing the attraction is 100% bad news, because women are like canaries in coal mine when it comes to love. You must move away and quickly.

If all else fails, just tell her straight up that you are not interested in her in a personal way, now or in the future. If you communicate when mean and angry, she'll get the picture.

BA Mathematics, UC Berkeley
Certificates in CPA and EA preparation, College of San Mateo
CMA I 420, II 470
FAR 91, AUD Feb 2015 (Gleim self-study)

[ScarletKnightCPA]

The truth is that some people don't know how to interact with the opposite gender rather than to be flirtie.

Unless you are really uncomfortable, I think it's actually a good thing, can make life easier to have someone willing to train you, support your growth and vouch for you.

I say go ahead and build up the friendship unless you are uncomfortable.

Far: 76 (Wiley Test Bank)
Aud: 77 (Wiley Test Bank)
Reg: 61, 76 (Wiley book, Wiley Test Bank)
Bec: 86 (Wiley Test Bank)

MBA in progress

[Anonymous]

8.5?

I think you should get that drink and Lean In.

[Anonymous]

lol @mysticalguy's comment above…

“but she keeps pounding me even harder when I resist.”

[M.O.D.]

If a young woman were to come on to this forum complaining that her engaged boss is trying to touch her, no one would ask how handsome is he, how come she does not like him, and is she a lesbian.

Furthermore, no one would suggest that she learn to flirt, have a drink and touch him back.

I find some of the “male” responses here highly immature.

I don't think mystical would be posting here if he did not have a serious problem, which should elicit serious answers.

BA Mathematics, UC Berkeley
Certificates in CPA and EA preparation, College of San Mateo
CMA I 420, II 470
FAR 91, AUD Feb 2015 (Gleim self-study)

[Anonymous]

But in all seriousness, what did your harassment class teach you before you took the job?

Document and report it if you feel very uncomfortable.

[ijustwant76]

Maybe you should drop some hints about meeting someone or dating someone. But since she's engaged, maybe that doesn't matter.

[stoleway]

@MOD…..

No matter how hard you try, you cannot be accorded the same privileges given to women at the workplace, they are very special and we have to leave it like that.

If the OP was a female and had given much detail like the one given above, my first reaction and advice is to go ahead and report this guy and if possible sue him or the company (Seriously, I don't know which one to sue but some women always end up recovering some money).

But this situation is about a man being harassed and the corporate environment does not provide support for situations like this. For a single guy like mystical it can be very tempting, simply because you can't really tell if the lady is being nice or flirty.

To quote him once again “but she keeps pounding me even harder when I resist.” It looks like she's being flirty and I will use it my advantage, its a win-win situation.

REG -63│ 84!!
BEC- 59│70│ 71 │78!
AUD- 75!
FAR- 87!

Mass-CPA

[M.O.D.]

@ stoleway

In situations where “support” is not available you have to make your own rules, regulations, laws, etc, and stick with them.

If no one will come to his aid, he has to stand up for himself. This is true for women too.

Maybe I am stronger than most people, but if I have to go a superior it is because I was unable to manage my work environment or situation, whatever it may be. I look upon it as a challenge, not just an inconvenience. So relying on the organization should be the last answer, not the first.

There is nothing tempting about an “engaged” woman seducing you at work. At best she is a “siren” who will dump you as soon as you reciprocate, at worst, she will sue you for sexually harassing her.

BA Mathematics, UC Berkeley
Certificates in CPA and EA preparation, College of San Mateo
CMA I 420, II 470
FAR 91, AUD Feb 2015 (Gleim self-study)

[ala72]

You could talk about other women that you're interested in to her and see how she responds?

You could say that you'll go get a drink with her but you'll only go if her fiancee comes to because it violates the ‘bro-code' to have a drink with another man's fiancee? Or that you really want to meet this guy?

You could slyly mention to another lady in the office that her come-on's make you a little uncomfortable sometimes because you were raised to never partake in office romances by your parents who you love very much and on your father's death bed he specifically asked you to never indulge or to steal/flirt/have relations with another man's ladylove?

Or you could say that you've met someone outside of work (or online) and that you think she's The One.

Goodluck!

Licensed NH CPA as of July 2015

AUD - 74 (Oct '13), 84 (Jan '14)
FAR - 79 (Feb '14)
REG - 61 (May '13), 81 (Aug '14)
BEC - 79 (Nov '14)

[M.O.D.]

No need to waste time with “drinks” and “bro-codes”.

Both of you take your clothes off immediately and have sex there in the office, in front of everyone. If you're going to be a man, be a real man.

BA Mathematics, UC Berkeley
Certificates in CPA and EA preparation, College of San Mateo
CMA I 420, II 470
FAR 91, AUD Feb 2015 (Gleim self-study)

[stoleway]

Lol….Remember to document everything even when you end up having sex with her.

REG -63│ 84!!
BEC- 59│70│ 71 │78!
AUD- 75!
FAR- 87!

Mass-CPA

[alboreland]

That's correct. It's all about the details.

[Mary 2496]

I would do whatever you need to in order to (1) keep your job — while (2) ending the drama. Employers <do not like> workplace drama. The longer this goes on, the more drama it creates. It makes the workplace very shaky ground. I have practically a zero tolerance for drama. When an employee is engaged in any kind of ongoing drama, I have no problem at all pulling that employee into my office for a meeting.

Best of luck!

[Author]

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