[Anonymous]

Hi All…I need help/advice. I’m a senior at a Big 4 firm and I’ve been here for about 2.5 years. I was rated extremely high my first two years and my work quality is always receiving verbal/written accolades and commendations from my superiors. However, I have a very serious problem — I really, truly struggle with controlling my emotions at work. I’m a dude, by the way, and I have a very short fuse. When something pisses me off, I have a tendency to bring out the sharp tongue. I’ve done it via e-mail, in person, IM, etc. I am pretty careful these days about sending nasty e-mails…if I feel myself writing an aggressive e-mail, I’ll usually save it as a draft and then delete it later. However, I still show emotional responses of frustration and sometimes “question” my boss more than they would like.

I would say I have a minor altercation probably once every 3-6 months where I’ve hurt someone’s feelings. I realize I’m posting on a public forum and I’m probably going to be crapped on a bit, but I’m trying to improve myself and learn to be in control of my emotions (especially anger/frustration) to be an all-around better employee. Ironically, I protect my staff like they were my kin…if they screw up, surprisingly, I don’t get that mad…I just work with them to make sure they understand their mistake and know that they will do better in the future. It’s usually my superiors that piss me off. My boss has told me that I would be probably his top senior if I didn’t carry around “emotional B.S.”. I hate him for it, but he’s right. I respect him and I know that if I don’t change soon, I’ll get a reputation for being difficult to work with.

I understand that I probably won’t get a lot of sympathy from the public because you’ve probably all worked with someone like I’ve just described and hate him/her with a passion. But for those of you who might understand my plight, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.