[Anonymous]

Hi All…I need help/advice. I’m a senior at a Big 4 firm and I’ve been here for about 2.5 years. I was rated extremely high my first two years and my work quality is always receiving verbal/written accolades and commendations from my superiors. However, I have a very serious problem — I really, truly struggle with controlling my emotions at work. I’m a dude, by the way, and I have a very short fuse. When something pisses me off, I have a tendency to bring out the sharp tongue. I’ve done it via e-mail, in person, IM, etc. I am pretty careful these days about sending nasty e-mails…if I feel myself writing an aggressive e-mail, I’ll usually save it as a draft and then delete it later. However, I still show emotional responses of frustration and sometimes “question” my boss more than they would like.

I would say I have a minor altercation probably once every 3-6 months where I’ve hurt someone’s feelings. I realize I’m posting on a public forum and I’m probably going to be crapped on a bit, but I’m trying to improve myself and learn to be in control of my emotions (especially anger/frustration) to be an all-around better employee. Ironically, I protect my staff like they were my kin…if they screw up, surprisingly, I don’t get that mad…I just work with them to make sure they understand their mistake and know that they will do better in the future. It’s usually my superiors that piss me off. My boss has told me that I would be probably his top senior if I didn’t carry around “emotional B.S.”. I hate him for it, but he’s right. I respect him and I know that if I don’t change soon, I’ll get a reputation for being difficult to work with.

I understand that I probably won’t get a lot of sympathy from the public because you’ve probably all worked with someone like I’ve just described and hate him/her with a passion. But for those of you who might understand my plight, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

[SeattleAccountant]

Go for a walk or light run, seriously dude, it helps!

Cut on sugar, caffeine, white carbs. You could be constantly crashing and not realizing it.

Some people have horrible moods while ingesting allergenic foods like peanuts, gluten, soy.

Becker Class of Jan - Aug 2013: FARB DONE!!!!
CPA license pending 🙂

[Anonymous]

Well, if your co-workers were angels, I might have a different answer for this one. All I can say is that you are the one in control of YOU. Do not ever let another person anger you so much that you do something that reflects badly on you or your career. Just learn to smile, walk away and kill them with kindness. My mom raised me with two phrases… #1 “There are NO perfect people” and #2 “If you burn your ass, you will sit on a blister.” Take each instance as it comes and ask yourself ..”Is this the hill I want to die on?” Most of the time the answer will be “NO…not today!” Learn how to fight the important battles and let the little crap go.

Good luck to you!!!

[Anonymous]

Well, if your co-workers were angels, I might have a different answer for this one. All I can say is that you are the one in control of YOU. Do not ever let another person anger you so much that you do something that reflects badly on you or your career. Just learn to smile, walk away and kill them with kindness. My mom raised me with two phrases… #1 “There are NO perfect people” and #2 “If you burn your ass, you will sit on a blister.” Take each instance as it comes and ask yourself ..”Is this the hill I want to die on?” Most of the time the answer will be “NO…not today!” Learn how to fight the important battles and let the little crap go.

Good luck to you!!!

[Anonymous]

@Baxter — “If you burn your ass, you will sit on a blister”; I love that. What you said is exactly what I've been trying to do. I'm desperately trying to constantly remind myself that these arguments, while annoying, are not the “hills I want to die on” (love that one too). It's hard in the heat of the moment, but I'm trying to learn to take a deep breath, remove myself from the situation until I've had a chance to process, and then react. I think sometimes my stubbornness/frustration stems from pride…as a Catholic man, I'm aware of what a problem that is! I am extremely aware that I am far from perfect and I wake up every day trying to think of ways I can make myself a better co-worker and a better person. I really appreciate the advice. If nothing else, it feels good to know that people can relate or at least have wonderful wisdom to share. For those of you still taking the exam, best of luck to you!!

[Anonymous]

@Baxter — “If you burn your ass, you will sit on a blister”; I love that. What you said is exactly what I've been trying to do. I'm desperately trying to constantly remind myself that these arguments, while annoying, are not the “hills I want to die on” (love that one too). It's hard in the heat of the moment, but I'm trying to learn to take a deep breath, remove myself from the situation until I've had a chance to process, and then react. I think sometimes my stubbornness/frustration stems from pride…as a Catholic man, I'm aware of what a problem that is! I am extremely aware that I am far from perfect and I wake up every day trying to think of ways I can make myself a better co-worker and a better person. I really appreciate the advice. If nothing else, it feels good to know that people can relate or at least have wonderful wisdom to share. For those of you still taking the exam, best of luck to you!!

[KADFC]

Hmm, this reminds me of a certain book. I think it was along the lines of “Don't sweat the small stuff” or something. This isn't an accounting issue or anything. It's more like a self-conscious/personal issue. I suggest a self-help book of some kind to lower your stress.

Alternative: Take a blood pressure test. If it's not high, then all is good. Continue to be yourself. If it is high, you should start taking action. There's IQ, but there's also EQ.

FAR - 62 (10/2/13), 50 (5/30/14)
AUD - 73 (10/30/13), 66 (5/6/14)
REG - 69 (4/8/14)
BEC - 66 (2/27/13), 73 (4/21/14)

[KADFC]

Hmm, this reminds me of a certain book. I think it was along the lines of “Don't sweat the small stuff” or something. This isn't an accounting issue or anything. It's more like a self-conscious/personal issue. I suggest a self-help book of some kind to lower your stress.

Alternative: Take a blood pressure test. If it's not high, then all is good. Continue to be yourself. If it is high, you should start taking action. There's IQ, but there's also EQ.

FAR - 62 (10/2/13), 50 (5/30/14)
AUD - 73 (10/30/13), 66 (5/6/14)
REG - 69 (4/8/14)
BEC - 66 (2/27/13), 73 (4/21/14)

[mla1169]

When someone ticks me off (which is often) and I want to snap at them (which is just as often) I ask myself “How GREAT would my day be if this is the biggest problem I have all day?”

Sometimes just giving myself some perspective is all it takes.

Sadly I got a big dose of perspective this week as my sleepy ;little town made national news when a child my daughters age took the life of a young and beautiful teacher.

When I returned to work yesterday somehow my boss's B.S. seemed silly to me 😉

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[mla1169]

When someone ticks me off (which is often) and I want to snap at them (which is just as often) I ask myself “How GREAT would my day be if this is the biggest problem I have all day?”

Sometimes just giving myself some perspective is all it takes.

Sadly I got a big dose of perspective this week as my sleepy ;little town made national news when a child my daughters age took the life of a young and beautiful teacher.

When I returned to work yesterday somehow my boss's B.S. seemed silly to me 😉

FAR- 77
AUD -49, 71, 84
REG -56,75!
BEC -75

Massachusetts CPA (non reporting) since 3/12.

[neika822]

I enjoy yoga. I find it really helps you to relax and gives you a different perspective on your emotions.

When you feel that anger boiling, can you take a quick 5-minute walk outside?

@mla – I'm so sorry to hear that was your town. It's struck all of us :(. I heard on the radio this morning that the high school is doing great with helping students cope.

When young women my age are killed, it hits me VERY hard. When the 24 year old in South Boston was kidnapped and killed this summer, I didn't want to leave my apartment. It's such a crazy thought.

R - *77*(02/'13)-Becker & NINJA
A - 71('11); *87*(04/'13)-Becker & NINJA
F - *76*(08/'13)-Becker & NINJA - "server upgrade" survivor
B - 60('11); *82*(10/'13) -Becker & NINA

DONE, DONE, AND DONE.

CPA in Massachusetts; issued 01/24/14

[neika822]

I enjoy yoga. I find it really helps you to relax and gives you a different perspective on your emotions.

When you feel that anger boiling, can you take a quick 5-minute walk outside?

@mla – I'm so sorry to hear that was your town. It's struck all of us :(. I heard on the radio this morning that the high school is doing great with helping students cope.

When young women my age are killed, it hits me VERY hard. When the 24 year old in South Boston was kidnapped and killed this summer, I didn't want to leave my apartment. It's such a crazy thought.

R - *77*(02/'13)-Becker & NINJA
A - 71('11); *87*(04/'13)-Becker & NINJA
F - *76*(08/'13)-Becker & NINJA - "server upgrade" survivor
B - 60('11); *82*(10/'13) -Becker & NINA

DONE, DONE, AND DONE.

CPA in Massachusetts; issued 01/24/14

[Author]

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