[Anonymous]

Should I tell my potential employer that I’m 5m pregnant? If not and if I get the offer, how long after that should I tell them? Thanks a lot!

[gabbygirl]

I wouldn't mention it. You have no obligation to do so. I interviewed for the position that I am currently in last year when I was 7 weeks pregnant and was made an offer when I was almost 8 weeks pregnant. I didn't tell my employer until I was about 14 or 15 weeks.

I was nervous about the whole thing before hand but looking back on it I wouldn't change a thing.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone for your input! I went on an interview and got the offer today. I have not mentioned about my pregnancy as I agreed with some here, I want them to see whether I am a right candidate purely based on my skills and knowledge as normally how it is. I also plan to tell them after couple weeks of working for the same reason, I want my performance to be evaluated objectively.

Regarding telling the employer about pregnancy, I have a pretty good story to share. Just because I thought the same way as couple people said, it's not their business but it's their, I know what I leave behind if I go on maternity leave so I told my previous boss when I just figure it out that I'm pregnant. I had to force myself to do that because by nature I'm not willing to share that personal issue and at that early stage. But I had learnt a lot afterward. I honestly told her it's out of my plan. The first thing she told me, you can consider abortion (?!!). Second, or you may resign? Thirdly, if you have someone to help you, you may only need to take 4 weeks leave (Before, we once talked about this during lunch time and she said the policy of 2-month maternity leave here is unfair and in her opinion, 6 months would be reasonable). I got no benefit at work but still it is very difficult to ask for a day off. Even appointment with doctor, I always tried to set up during the weekend. Still, after the first appointment, I went back and told her I need to see the doctor again in 2 weeks, she said “Why?”. I said they want me to think about doing screening test for my baby (which as I know so far most people do). She said “Why? No, you don't have to, I did not do any tests for both my children”… I went from being stunned to speechless. I understand it's business but still, it's not necessary inhuman like that. You want people to devote to your business, so do not see them as a machine, respect them as a human being who also has his/her own life.

[CM]

Wow, IzChi. I can't believe your boss told you all of that nonsense. I opted to tell my last employer that I was pregnant during the interview, only because I was due during the busy season, and I ended up having to wait after April 15 to get hired.

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[Anonymous]

@ IzChi Good decision! I will not consider it as being inconsiderate if you don't tell your potential employer about your pregnancy. If your employer is not as ignorant as you previous boss, first they will understand that you are a mother (or mom-to-be) who's trying to work and save money for your precious cargo. Second, they should know about FMLA, that you are allowed up to 12 weeks unpaid “job-protected” leave, and if they decided to fire you (I hope not) for some “other reason” than your pregnancy, they have to document that “other reason” otherwise you can sue them for wrongful termination. If you will be hired right away, within a month they will notice your pregnant, so they have 3 months to figure out how are they going to get you covered. And I hope your colleagues will also be supportive enough to understand that being a mom is a huge and lifetime responsibility, so for them taking over your responsibility for may be 2 to 3 months is really nothing! They should realize that they were was once a mom, have a mom or will be a mom. I hope everything will turn out well for you!

[Mamabear]

I didn't read anything but the original post so I apologize if I repeat anything. First, congrats! Second, I'm jealous that you could get away with them not knowing at 5 months! I was in maternity clothes by 8 weeks with all of mine and OBVIOUSLY pregnant by 5 months. When I say jealous, I mean really really jealous! 🙂

As for telling or not telling–I understand why you would want to keep it a secret until you are hired. You don't want it to be a deciding factor in the fact that they may not hire you. That makes perfect sense. However, from a hiring employer's point of view, I think you should consider the fact that it would seem dishonest not to say anything. You may not be lying, but it's lying by omission. They have a right to know that you're going to have a planned extended absence that soon after starting. 4 months seems like a long time to get settled in and make a good impression, but it's really not a long time. From a corporate accounting perspective (not sure what kind of job you're looking at), but going out on leave in 4 months is putting you right in the middle of the auditing period. If you're going to be in any position in a general ledger accounting department that could put them in a bad position for you to be gone during that period.

Instead of not saying anything, I would consider using it as an opportunity to show that you've considered the impact it could have on the company and sell yourself regarding how hard you'll work to prepare your entire team for your absence. Come up with a plan and let them know that you've thought everything through and give them your plan. “I'm sure you've noticed that I'm pregnant and I want you to know that I will make every effort to not have it impact my performance or create any hardship for the team. I typically make appointments first thing in the morning so that I do not have to leave work in the middle of the day to go to the doctor and I will be more than willing to stay late to make up for any time lost. I am very organized and will have detailed instructions for any work that would need to be covered during my _ week maternity leave. While I understand that I would not physically be in the office during that time, I can always be reached by phone if anyone needs my assistance. I will work up until my due date unless I become physically unable to do so.” Or something along those lines. If you sell yourself and everything you will bring to the company, the department, and to that position I really don't think it will matter that you are pregnant. We hired someone right after they had a baby and was still on maternity leave for a month so she couldn't start immediately. We needed her but she was such a great candidate that we were willing to wait until she could start.

Maybe I'm naive or I'm just more sensitive to pregnancy because I've had 3 children in the last 5 years, but I think if you're the best candidate for the position then it won't matter to most. And honestly if you have all the right stuff, but they don't hire you because you're pregnant (obviously they would give you another reason for not hiring you) then would you really want to work for a company/employer like that??

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