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I’m a few weeks into client work at a big 4 and am moving slowly. My thought process is: learn now so I can fly during busy season. Problem is, I’ve blown the budget on 2 clients now. The second time I at least was able to warn my senior before I exceeded hours. Both seniors said not to worry about the budget but to be better moving forward. Actually, instead of ripping me apart for the budget, they pointed out an area that I thought I excelled in to tell me to work on. I think I’m doing good work (slow, but good) and I’m learning, but the requirements of the job are obviously key.
I’ve been on edge ever since I started. Some background – I did not bond with the other first years like I thought I would. There’s really no one in the company I trust to ask for help yet. And I’m a perfectionist. I got upset in school when I didn’t get an A (yeah, I was that annoying person), so I’m used to doing things right and well the first time. But, now, I’m overwhelmed. I feel like I creating a self-fulfilling prophecy but I always feel like I’m on the edge of being let go (when, in reality, that’s probably ridiculous at this point…. maybe not next summer). I’m a fun person but am so scared I barley talk at work. I need this job as my family has struggled, so that’s an added pressure.
In addition, the tension in the audit field is very overwhelming. I’m not used to having to fight tooth and nail to get what I need, but dealing with the anger of the client is a whole new world to me. I’m a peacemaker and that’s just not an option in this line of work.
Basically, I’m looking for feedback. Can you tell me how badly I’ve messed up, where I focus my energies, does it get better? I want to do well and be successful and a great employee with this company. Anything will help as I’ll probably keep feeding this self-fulfilling prophecy of inadequacy until it’s too late.
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BEC - Jul '14Becker Self Study/Ninja Notes/Ninja Audio/Ninja MCQ/Wiley Test Bank/Wiley Book
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